Hidden Hinges for Dummies

Soss hidden hinge pair

To paraphrase Madeleine Albright, there must be a special place in hell for freelancer writers who post how-to articles telling someone how to perform a task they've never performed themselves. Unfortunately, the woods out there are full of this sort of money-hungry faker. Those who've actually performed the task or have the skills and know-how to tackle it if need be can usually spot a fake from the misuse of terms or tools caused by their ignorance. Let's take a look at one such writer today, a multiple winner of our DotD award (four times across three websites and two names), Dianne Christensen-Hermance; who we found this time writing for eHow.com under the shortened version of her surname. Nevertheless, we could recognize her style and lack of substance in the article she titled "How to Install Soss Hinges."¹

There's nothing wrong with having to look up "Soss hinges," because our researcher was no more familiar with the brand than Dianne. Once the researcher saw the picture (above), he said, "Oh, those hinges!"  And given our researcher's experience with installing doors and hinges, he understood why someone might ask (though he didn't understand why the OQ woudn't just follow the instructions that came with the hinge...). Having never installed a door or a hinge herself, Dianne just said,

"If installing Soss hinges, the frame and door must be properly prepared so the hinges can be installed correctly. Installing hidden hinges can be a little more difficult, especially if you are an inexperienced hinge installer."

Besides that's being the ultimate "duh!" phrasing, WTF is an "experienced hinge installer"? Of course, the process is different from the much more common leaf hinges (a term Dianne doesn't know), because the hinges are mounted on the edge of the frame in matched mortises deep enough to contain the entire  works when the door is closed. Thankfully, Soss themselves provide detailed video instructions on how to use their router template (which completely replaces the paper-template instructions Dianne misquotes). But even if you were to use the paper template, you'd be wise not to follow Hermance's instructions. For instance, there's her location suggestions;

"Typically, a door hinge is installed about 5 inches from the top of the door and about 10 inches from the bottom of the door. However, these instructions may vary by hinge manufacturer."

Well, duh: we already know the hinge manufacturer, dumbass: it's Soss! and Soss mandates at least three hinges because of the extra stress on the top hinge caused by the hinge design!

Since Dianne's just rewording the instruction sheet, she mostly gets the parts about the use of drill bits and chisels right (though we noticed she says jack shit about mortise depth). But the ultimate tipoff that Hermance has no earthly idea what she's talking about? Well, you tell us from these instructions:

• ...form holes in the door with a drill...
• Remove wood... with a chisel.
• Set one-half of the hinge into the mortise cut in the door. Insert the screws into the holes you drilled and secure with a screwdriver.
• Hold the other half of the hinge into the remaining mortise cut. Place the screws into the openings you drilled and tighten with a screwdriver.

Notice anything missing? We did: she says nothing at all about mortising the door jamb. What an idiot... and that's not to mention her lousy instructions on how to use a chisel:

"Position the flat face of the chisel on the side of the hinge opening. Use a hammer to remove excess wood."

...and the fact that not once - not once! - does the woman mention that the hinges are mortised into the edge of the door. Yet some moron content editor at eHow (a journalism major who wouldn't know a mortise from a morgue [much like Dianne herself]) authorized payment for this tripe. And here you wondered how eHow.com contributors collect so many Dumbass of the Day awards...

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_8789061_install-soss-hinges.html

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