Schwinn Bike Computers for Dummies

Bicycle computer (cyclocomputer)

Today's DotD nominee comes from the file we affectionately call the "sometimes even a blind pig finds an acorn" file. Those are freelancers' posts that cite a seminal reference on the topic to lend an air of authenticity, yet somehow still leave readers uninformed, misinformed, or simply scratching their heads in confusion. Our author today is Demand Media's Nichole Liandi (already a four-time awardee), who we found writing for a competing website. part of the LovetoKnow empire called Trails.com. Liandi's topic? well, Nichole leveraged that BA in art history and a self-described passion for travel to tell readers "How to Calibrate a Schwinn Bike Speedometer"¹... sort of.

The Antisocial Network researcher who stuck her post in the blind pigs file did so because Liandi managed to find the website of the late Sheldon Brown, where you can find setup instructions and scanned owner's manuals for dozens or even hundreds of bike computers, old and new. Nichole did manage to get started on the right foot when she said,

"...a cycling computer... sometimes called a speedometer but is moreso a combination speedometer, odometer and timer."

...though things went downhill after that.

Besides noting Liandi's misuse of the word "moreso," we wondered why she refused to use the word "cyclocomputer," which is the term of art. Perhaps if she owned one... but we digress. Nichole went on to explain, first, how to determine your tire size in millimeters (or so she claims): [Examine] the sidewall of your tire for a combination of two numbers separated by an 'x'. For example, most road bike tires are 700x23... [Calculate] the wheel size by multiplying the diameter of the wheel--in millimeters--by 3.1416 or referring to a circumference chart. There are a couple of problems with those instructions, however, to wit:

1. Is one of those numbers the wheel diameter? Is it in millimeters already? How do we know?
2. They're wrong -- or at the very least, misleading.

You'd damned well better refer to a circumference chart, such as the one at Brown's website, or find yourself a website with a circumference calculator. That's because Nichole doesn't bother to tell you that neither number in the label "700 x 23C" is wheel diameter! In reality, the diameter of a "700" rim is 622mm, the number "23" is the profile height of the rubber, and the true diameter of a wheel and tire is 622 + (2 * 23) = 668mm -- not that Liandi was any help with that...
Once past those problems, Liandi proceeds to reword Brown's instructions for several (but not all) Schwinn computers. By this time, however, most users will be so confused that they give up. Is it any wonder that cyclocomputer instructions by someone who doesn't the word "cyclocomputer" and can't translate the tire size to wheel circumference aren't worth jack? Nope, nor is it any wonder that Liandi's our Dumbass of the Day... Again.

¹ The original has been deleted by LovetoKnow, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   trails.com/how_33642_calibrate-schwinn-bike-speedometer.html

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