All Hail the Dummy Way!

Hail damage on a car

We've noticed over the years that freelance dumbassery seems to be most common at sites where contributors choose from "pre-seeded" titles (e.g., eHow.com). That doesn't mean that self-proclaimed experts on everything don't spread their bull across HubPages and similar sites, though the latter seem to feature somewhat more content from people who know that they're talking about -- at least now. Back in the bad old days, though, such bullshit artists were everywhere hoping to craft a keyword-rich post and title that would go viral. About zero did, but that never stopped anyone... and it didn't stop InfoBarrel.com¹ writer Mariuski when s/he tried to explain "How Can Hail Damage a Car?"

Mariuski, who claimed to be "a science researcher" – whatever that is supposed to mean – pulled the old bait and switch in this post. We say that because of the article's nearly 1000 words, all Mari has to say on the title topic is

"Due to the hardness of ice when falling in the form of hail, and especially when the balls acquire significant dimensions, hail can be very harmful to cars (and people) caught in the middle of a hailstorm. It can dent the vehicle, crack and even shatter the glass of the windshield. One of the biggest problems when hail falls is that most of the cars are outdoors, even if only parked, so they will be damaged equally."

Besides being some truly clumsy prose (what does "damaged equally" mean, anyway?), this doesn't explain how hail damages cars. For that, you need to see mention of mass, kinetic energy and force; and the physical characteristics of metal alloys, especially malleability. Are they in there? no: all that's in there is throwaway crap about how hail damages things and a grade-five level explanation of how hail forms. Even that has problems, including such inane comments as "Hail is a rare atmospheric phenomenon, since for it to happen a certain set of conditions and circumstances has to be satisfied. Rain, for instance, is statistically more prone to develop, as we all see in our daily lives..."

...although we're not so sure hail can be called a "rare atmospheric phenomenon" given that it occurs hundreds of times a day across the globe. We also liked Mari's explanation of hail formation where s/he declaims,

"Water droplets turn into ice when they ascend to the higher parts of the cloud... where the temperature is equal to or less than 0°C (32ºF), the freezing temperature of water. Supercooled water continues in this state because of the need for a strong initial seed to initiate the crystallization process."

WTF does "Supercooled water continues in this state" mean? and why does Mariuski think that a "need for a strong initial seed" causes supercooled water? What an idiot!
Between the bait and switch – the post is about how hail forms, not how hail damages cars – and the mishmash of misinterpretation and misstatement, this one's total rubbish. That's why Mariuski has collected her first Dumbass of the Day award. Wanna bet she deserves at least another?

¹ InfoBarrel has deleted all user-generated content and become a "green" website, but this post can still be read by using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   infobarrel.com/How_Can_Hail_Damage_a_Car

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