Removing a Schlage Lock for Dummies

Parts of a doorknob lock

One of the first things most people do when they move into a new house is to change all the locks. After all, you never know when the previous owner's Cousin Junior or that weird neighbor with the wandering eye is gonna drop by and use the key someone left them for watering the plants, right? You can either re-key the locks or just change them completely. The second option doesn't require a locksmith, and the truth is that changing a lock isn't all that hard. Well, it isn't all that hard if you don't make the mistake of using eHow.com, where we found Kelly Nuttall holding forth in a post titled "How to Remove Schlage Locks."

Nuttall, being a college student ("technical communications" major) who'd only lived in dorms (and maybe an apartment or sorority) assumed one changes a lock because... well, because

"Door locks get old and wear out, just like many other items in a home."

That could be... but probably isn't. Whatever the case, Kelly went straight to the source; a set of installation instructions for a typical Schlage keyed entrance lock. The problem with using the installation instructions, apparently, is that they don't usually have removal instructions included. That's why Nuttall's post fell flat, with a resounding thud. Anyhow, according to Kelly, the first step is to

"Unscrew the mounting bolts located on the interior side of the door lock." Well, first, those aren't "mounting bolts"; they're screws. Second, the reason the OQ was asking about removing a Schlage lock is that those screws' heads aren't usually visible from the inside: you need to take off the rosette first, which typically requires that you remove the handle or the thumb knob for a deadbolt. Idiot. Next, Nuttall wants you to separate the two handles (what if it's a deadbolt?), then "Insert a screwdriver into one of the holes in the latch mechanism. Use the screwdriver to force the latch mechanism out the side of the door."

Here's where this dumbass demonstrates both unfamiliarity with locks in general and unfamiliarity with the task at hand in specific:

• The "latch mechanism," as she calls it, is actually what is known as the "bolt."
• More to the point, the bolt is attached to the edge of the door with screws through the faceplate: you can't "force [it] out the side of the door" without removing the screws!

But Kelly does finish up with a bang, informing her readers to

"Remove the screws from the strike plate in the door jamb, and pull the strike plate away."

Well, at least she got that part right; although it may not be necessary if you're planning on installing a new lock -- and we certainly hope you are...
This kind of bull is the reason that smart people don't depend on eHow (or any other Demand Media property) to help them with a DIY task. Sure, sometimes you get instructions that make sense and are actually useful, but too often the how-tos are just plain stupid. That's probably the reason that about 80% of the Antisocial Network's Dumbass of the Day awards end up in the hands of eHow contributors.

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