Fossil Types for Clueless Paleontologists

Pyritized ammonite fossil

We were noticing at the staff meeting not long ago that we haven't visited some of the more "interesting" denizens of HubPages for a while. Unfortunately, the output of drones like Naima Manal seems to be slowly disappearing as people who actually know something vote it down (rather than "friends" voting it up). While it's still there, we thought we'd take a look at some of the rubbish created by our friend Hassam, he of the half-copied and half-spun misinformation. Today's over-broad (and under-researched) topic is something the guy dashed off several years ago: "Types of Fossils."

You can go to wikipedia or to just about any reasonably complete educational website (such as the one from Oxford University) and find the information in question. Those sites, however, are not going to give you such remarkable insights as this, on something Hassam thinks are chemo fossils:

"Chemo fossils... are the chemicals that have been left behind their bodies... Such chemicals are discovered beneath the earth and are believed to be the bio signals of the organisms... Paleontologists use these fossils to understand the mode of communication an signals of the organisms to which they belong."

Say WHAT?! "...mode of communication"? You ignorant dumbass, chemo fossils are merely chemical traces that indicate the presence of life forms, not "communication signals"!

When it comes to what we usually think of as fossils -- shells, dinosaur bones, etc. -- Hassam is an equal-opportunity misinformer. Check out what he has to say about mold fossils:

"Some fossils are discovered as imprints formed on the first layer of sediment that was formed on them these fossils are called the mold fossils. The paleontologists believe that these fossils were produced when after the formation of first layer of sediment due to leaching the shell or the crust of the body of the organism carved their image on the rocks."

Buried within that tortured prose is a kernel of truth: mold fossils are those in which the original material has been replaced by other minerals. A classic example (seen above) is the case of a shell, originally composed of calcium carbonate, that is completely replaced by pyrite (aka fool's gold). Or as Hassam says, "Although the original crust of the organism gets decayed during the time, the carving of their image on the rocks retained." And then there's Hassam's explanation of ichnofossils, or what are more commonly called trace fossils:

"The trace fossils which are also called the Ichnofossils are various body parts of the organisms or can be nests, eggs, feces or even footprints of the old extinct animal... Other trace fossils such as the body arts [bolding ours] of the organisms got buried underground where layers of earth kept forming upon them."

Fossils got tattoos! and piercings! No, Hassam, fossilized body parts aren't trace fossils... although we guess fossilized body art would be. We could go on, but we hope you get the point: this is in no way a useful reference for "types of fossils," except as a general list of types -- and we aren't quite sure whether "biofuels" and "extinct mammals of the world" belong on that list... whatever the case, our old friend Hassam has just picked up another Dumbass of the Day award; his third. Go Hassam... and take Naima with you!

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SI - PALEONTOLOGY