Covering a Popcorn Ceiling for Dummies

Removing popcorn ceiling

Anyone who's lived in a house built or remodeled sometime between about 1960 and 1985 is probably familiar with the so-called "popcorn" ceiling. The rather hideous decorative effect was intended to disguise seams, sags and other defects in drywall ceilings; more recently the heavy texture has been supplanted by swirl and orange-peel effects that do pretty much the same thing. Given its dated appearance, it's no wonder that DIY remodelers asked "How to Camouflage Popcorn Ceilings";¹ but only unlucky ones took the advice eHowian Naima Manal (15-time daily dumbass) posted to HomeSteady.com.

Knowing Manal as we do, we fully expected some dumbassery right out of the gate. She didn't disappoint, opining in her introduction that a popcorn texture...

"...also [hides] seam imperfections in the ceiling’s base installation or cracks that later developed through the ceiling’s material..."

We'll buy the "seam imperfections," but know from long experience that nothing hides cracks in a drywall surface; and that you don't want to hide serious cracks. But that's just Naima being Naima, misinterpreting and misinforming. She next explains that "Camouflaging the popcorn ceiling with finishing materials provides ways to update the ceiling for a fraction of what it would cost to completely replace it." That's a ridiculous statement on its face: no one replaces an entire ceiling just because it has a popcorn finish! But, that's our Naima... who goes on to tell people that the way to camouflage a popcorn ceiling is to

"Scrape off any loose popcorn material from the ceiling with a 4-inch drywall scraper. The last thing anyone would want is for the ceiling tiles to peel away because of the loose, underlying material. This does not require wetting the material, since it will remain as is and be covered with the tiles."

Huh? is this moron not aware that the entire popcorn layer is little more than "loose material"? and that the weight of a ceiling tile is probably sufficient to make it fall off? and that it's uneven enough to make mounting ceiling tiles flat almost impossible? No, she's a dumbass, a dumbass who didn't read the entire article she cribbed for this post.

Among other gross stupidities in Manal's post are such statements as

"Cut out holes for the ceiling's light fixtures... Mark [the position of the fixture] on a ceiling tile, and then cut it out with a utility knife. Fit the tile over the light fixture..."

...which is ridiculous: you fit the tile over the ceiling box so that the fixture's canopy covers the cut! And then there's

"Hire a professional asbestos removal company to test the ceiling's material prior to beginning this project. If asbestos are found [sic], have them remove and clean up the popcorn ceiling material. If asbestos are not found [sic]..."

...which strongly suggests that this moron somehow thinks there is such a thing as a single "asbesto." Really? People would take home repair advice from someone stupid enough to be unaware that asbestos is a mineral name? Moron! Small wonder that Naima's picking up yet another Dumbass of the Day award. She might have more if HubPages hadn't hidden most of her content,  but only six of the 39 "hubs" she posted are still visible.

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was    ehow.com/how_12152047_camouflage-popcorn-ceilings.html

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DDIY - CEILINGS