Locks for Sliding Glass Doors, the Dummy Approach

Sliding door with mortise lock

The Antisocial Network mole who once wrote for Demand Media (owner of eHow.com, now reinvented as Leaf Group) says that it was common for a contributor to search for assignments with the same keyword once they'd established their "expertise." That must be how eHow.com contributor Alec Preble managed to write multiple articles about locks, a topic he probably didn't study on his way to that BA in English. Among them we found one of astounding dumbassery titled "How to Install a Key Lock On a Sliding Glass Door" (now living at Hunker.com).¹

Of course, the way to install a key lock on a sliding glass door is to buy a lock designed for a sliding glass door and follow the friggin' installation instructions. That way you don't have to ask people who have no knowledge whatsoever of the process for help. Preble, however, is there, pretending to rewrite advice from a library book (instructions that Ron Hazelton very likely never wrote for this purpose). According to Alec, all sliding glass doors are metal (they're not), so all you have to do is dink on the frame until you find someplace where there's no glass and then... well, we'll let Preble tell you:

Hold the new lock up to the door to determine where the lock and screw holes should be drilled. Mark each screw hole. Place the metal punch over the marked spot on the frame. Tap it with a hammer gently to create a hole. Drill the hole out until the lock fits inside. Drill out any holes necessary for the lock-securing screws in the same way. Secure the lock with mounting screws. Mark the door frame for the latch plate. Drill any necessary holes and secure the latch plate to the frame. Test the lock. Uh, yeah: that's about the size of it, at least according to someone who has clearly never seen a sliding door or installed a lock. For those who, like Alec, haven't dealt with locks in sliding glass doors, first things first:

• Many sliding glass doors have wood frames.
• Most locksets for sliders are mortise locks, meaning that they're mortised into the edge of the door. "Mortised" means inserted into a pocket cut into the edge, not surface-mounted.
• The "latch plate" is more complicated than just a couple of drill holes, not to mention that the frame of sliding glass doors, even wooden ones, is usually metal.

We could go on, but you get the point. Preble obviously attempted to reword the instructions for an ordinary door lock for this article, and some moron content editor (probably an English or Journalism BA) let him get away with this bull. As is so often the case with eHow articles, we sure wish we could hand out more than one Dumbass of the Day award, but DMS CEs are anonymous.

¹ The original has been sent to the rewite team by Leaf Group, but it can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_8693063_install-lock-sliding-glass-door.html

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