Shortening a Table for Dummies

wobbly table

Self-appointed freelance "experts": you gotta love 'em, especially the ones who claim to be "award-winning." You always wonder, what awards have these people won? the award of having mommy put your latest artwork up in the Amana Gallery when you were seven, perhaps? Whatever the case, we try to never fall for the self-hype. such as that claimed by "award-winning designer" Gina Samarotto (who's also a freelance journalist? and has time to win design awards? s-u-u-ure...) when she attempted to impress people with her design skills in "How to Lower the Height of a Table"¹ for Leaf Group's TheBump.com.

Samarotto expends a lot of energy explaining why (she thinks) someone would trim table legs, though she never mentions wobbling... she also devotes a lot of words to describing how to decide the new height and/or where to cut the legs. When it comes to actually performing the deed, however, she's a lot less helpful:

"Measure each leg carefully and mark the desired finished length clearly. Measure from top to bottom and again from bottom to top to ensure that your measurements are accurate. Use a level to confirm that your cut marks are even."

We'll go with that. sort of, though we aren't quite sure how one could use a level for this task -- though we would think a square would be nice to have. Gina doesn't mention that, though. She does give you lots of prattle about choosing a cutting tool:

"Select a saw with a fine tooth blade. While a power circular saw is quicker and more efficient, you can use a hand saw if you're uncomfortable with power tools or if it's what you have available. Use steady, long strokes to make a clean cut with a hand saw. Cut each of the legs down to size." Use a friggin' circular saw? is this woman kidding? In reality, she knows so little about this that her sole reference is from a forum, in which the conversation doesn't even explain how to do it. Instead, the local experts advise the OQ to hire a carpenter!  But Samorotto forges ahead, telling her readers to

"Cut each of the legs down to size... Turn the table upright and check to see if sits steadily without wobbling. When you're satisfied with your cuts, turn the table back over and lightly sand each leg..."

Now our house carpenter would never want to try this, but if he had to, he suggests removing the legs from the table top and using a jig of some sort to ensure that all legs are cut to precisely the same length and at the same angle. He also says that a much better tool for fine-tuning the length is a block plane, as opposed to cutting different legs until you're "satisfied." That sounds like the plot for a Tom and Jerry cartoon...

But what does our house carpenter know that Samarotto doesn't? Quite probably, he knows how to operate both a circular saw and a hand saw, as well as what a block plane is and how to measure things. Gina clearly has no carpentry and woodworking experience, and just wrote this bull for the cash. That award-winning design business not working out for you, Gina? well, here's another award for you: the Antisocial Network's Dumbass of the Day.

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   http://living.thebump.com/lower-height-table-14352.html

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