Citizenship for Dummies

Sample Green Card

Every once in a while one of our research staffers asks special permission to point to an everyday dumbass he or she has encountered in daily life. It might be on social media, it might be on the street, it might be just about anywhere. This time, one asked us to feature an anonymous letter to the Indianapolis Star; in specific the brief comment section the newspaper calls "Let It Out." Our sister blog, Gridlock City, occasionally mentions the same section. Today's anonymous contributor wanted to rant about immigration...

Mr or Ms anonymous wanted to know,

"Illegal immigrant in this country for 16 years afraid he will be deported. Why didn't he apply for citizenship in those 16 years?"

That question makes it crystal clear that the person asking it knows nothing about immigration to this country. If he (or she, though somewhat more likely he) had wanted to know, perhaps he should have done a little research: there is plenty of information out there about how to apply for citizenship on the Homeland Security website. In fact, there's a handy little form would-be citizens can fill out to figure out the process...

But wait: the second question on the worksheet asks how long the applicant has been a Permanent Resident. Does anonymous know what a Permanent Resident is? We doubt it; but we know: a Permanent Resident is someone who has a "green card." So if our "illegal immigrant" did not have a green card, no way he could have applied for citizenship  – unless married to an American (though he would have had to have returned to his home country for from 3-10 years before being admitted legally), or claiming asylum. So how does our alien get a green card? Well, for most people, you have to have a valid visa. But wait: our "eeeleeegull" doesn't have a visa, so how does he or she get one? Go back to his home country, go to the U. S. Consulate, and apply; with no guarantee that he'll get a visa and no time limit on how long it takes.

So, Mr. Anonymous, have you figured out that you are woefully uneducated about how one applies for citizenship to the United States? We figured it out immediately, which is why we had a Dumbass of the Day polished up and waiting for you to pick it up. Come on down...

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