Curved Lines for the Dummy Math Student

Curved lines that aren't arcs of a circle

If our staffers had to choose one attribute that identifies a faking freelancer, it might well be the specific answer to a general question. Take, for instance, the question "how to calculate the perimeter of a quadrilateral?": the answer, measure a side and multiply by four works for only a quadrilateral with four equal sides, such as a square or specific diamond. It doesn't work for any other quadrilateral. We saw this again just yesterday and decided that was all we needed to give the DotD award to a Sciencing.com writer by the name of Sean Kotz. Kotz tried to answer the question, "How to Calculate the Length of a Curved Line," and managed to answer it for just one curve: an arc of a circle. Dumb, dumb, dumb...

Sean tells his readers how to calculate the length of an arc of a circle given its diameter and the interior angle of the arc. Interestingly enough, he goes into great detail explaining how to use a protractor to measure the angle, but says nothing about measuring the diameter. All he says is,

"Determine diameter of the larger circle containing the arc. If you have the radius as a given, multiply that number by 2."

Sure that works, Sean, but what if you don't "have the radius as a given"? In that case you'll need to find the center of the circle, which people who studied math instead of avoiding it to get an MA in English Literature understand can be done fairly easily. But we digress: Kotz expended all this energy (and 400 words) to explain how to calculate the length of one specific curve. Sean's ultimate solution, included in a so-called "tip," is, "Lay out a string along the curve and cut it so that it lays perfectly on the curve. Then, measure the string."

Yeah, sure: that's calculation... not! Whereas in reality, there are ways to estimate the length of any curved line, regardless of its shape and number of curves, but they involve – gasp – higher mathematics. That's anathema to someone who probably didn't even take finite math while getting his college degree. We won't go into the nitty-gritty details, mainly because there's not enough room here, but it involves the application of calculus to the Pythagorean Theorem... have we lost you yet?

Well, we lost Kotz about the time we said something about "higher math," which is why this guy had absolutely no business attempting to address the topic he so bravely screwed up (for which he got paid, because no one at Demand Media was smart enough to know he was wrong). Oh, yeah, and for his trouble he's also collecting a Dumbass of the Day award. Wear it well, Sean...

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