Glaciers for Clueless Dummies

alpine glacier with medial moraines

We are sure that there are plenty of homeschoolers out there who do an excellent job of preparing their children for the real world, though we rather suspect the excellent scores come of their students get on standardized tests are more the result of extreme "teaching to the test" than excellence in education. Face statistics: just like medical doctors, half of all homeschoolers are in the bottom half of their avocation... which brings us to today's candidate, Joannie Ham, and the little ditty she published at InfoBarrel.com called "5 Questions About Glaciers."

Oh, sure, she had questions all right; but did she have answers? right ones? Our staff geologist says that even a recent student of "Rocks for Jocks" could probably have done better... so let's get to the questions:

How are are Glaciers Formed? Ham says, "Simply put, glaciers form from ice, which forms from snow. Snowflakes, which are lovely six-sided crystals, melt just a little, especially their extremeties [sic]. With a little condensation, they become little ice pellets. As te [sic] ice pellets stick to each other, firn is formed."

Which, we guess, is fair — except for one thing: in order for a glacier to form, snow must persist from year to year and not melt in the summer, Joannie omits this important fact, so her readers might think that a glacier forms over a winter... not so. What are the Two Types of Glaciers? Joannie (more or less correctly) says, "Glaciers are divided into continental and alpline [sic]..." Ham's spelling problem notwithstanding -- she did spell "alpine" right later -- her understanding of alpine glaciers is a little weak:

"There are 67,000 alpine glaciers world-wide. They are found on top of mountains, thus the name. Sometimes, the glaciers are found in valleys. Alpine glaciers are prominent in Europe, especially in the Alps."

Errrm, they're called "alpine" because they're found in mountain ranges, not "on top of mountains." And they aren't "sometimes... found in valleys," alpine glaciers form valleys as they grow. Idiot. As for question number 3, How Do Glaciers Flow? Ham does a fairly good job of rewording something authoritative. Yay, Joannie...

How do They Change the Earth? Ham starts off wrong, sorry to say, when she claims that "Glaciers are the pre-eminent [sic] former of our landscape... Without glaciation, there would be fewer jagged peaks like the Matterhorn in Switzerland, no U-shaped valleys, no Norwegian fjords or moraines in Denali National Park, and no Great Lakes along the northern border of the US..."

...all of the examples are true, but glaciers are far from "preeminent" when it comes to shaping landforms. Water -- in its liquid form, not solid -- is the big actor, helped along by freeze-thaw cycles in temperate zones. Joannie's claim would be nearer correct if she had said something about "most dramatic" instead of "pre-eminent [sic]." Last comes a question that isn't actually about glaciers, it's about the evidence of glaciation:

What are Moraines? Ham shares this information: "Moraine comes from the French word morena, which means heap of earth... That's pretty much what moraines are - debris deposited by glaciers. A terminal moraine, aka end moraine, forms at the downhill end of a glacier. Ridges of debris that are parallel to the flow of the glacier are called lateral moraines and form up on the sides of the glacial valley. If two glaciers join, the lateral moraines that meet where they intersect may come down the middle of the new larger glacier and form a medial moraine. The North American continent is filled with moraines, especially the crescent looped moraines found throughout Canada and the northern part of the US."

All of which is true... keeping in mind that lateral and medial moraines are features unique to alpine glaciation, while terminal moraines can record both alpine and continental... except that in that latter case, those "crescent looped moraines" (whatever that means) aren't found "at the downhill end of a glacier" -- they mark the farthest advance of continental glaciers.

We've seen Ham's brand of half-correct information before, as well as other lessons written by ill-prepared homeschooling moms (and maybe dads). Ham claims to have two science-y degrees (anthropology and nutrition), but is definitely out of her depth trying to teach even the most elementary glaciology. Oh, well, at least she gets another Dumbass of the Day award to hang in her "classroom."

copyright © 2017-2022 scmrak

SI - GLACIERS