Estimating Paint for Dummies

Just height times width, Kathryn?

Although plenty of people are convinced that half a loaf is better than none, settling for half a loaf works a lot better when the topic is bread than when it's answers. All of which is a roundabout way to say that half an answer may be no better than none – if you know what we mean. If you don't know what we mean, then consider the half answer that eHowian Kathryn Hatter provided in her Hunker.com post "How to Calculate Square Feet for Painting."

We will grant that, unlike so many writers in the eHow / Leaf Group family of dumbasses, Hatter didn't hose her instructions for calculating the area of a rectangle. Nope, Hatter informed her readers that the process is to simply,

"Measure, in feet, the length of one wall you will paint. Measure the height of that wall, in feet. Write down both measurements. Multiply those measurements to find the number of square feet in the wall."

And, in fact, that works – for a blank wall. We think Kathryn should have probably suggested rounding up the measurements: it's better to buy too much paint than to have to go back to the store for another gallon... but that isn't our real problem with the "veteran home-school educator" and her answer. No, Kate was on the right track when she said to measure all four (or however many) walls that way and add the areas together, then multiply by the number of coats necessary. Where Hatter's directions went pear-shaped is pretty obvious, at least to us: when you're paying $30-40 per gallon (or more) for quality paint, you want to have an accurate estimate of square footage. So think, Kathryn: how did you get into that room to measure it? Well, you very likely walked in through a door – a space that you won't be painting.

In other words, Hatter's directions should have included a step for measuring doors, windows, trim, cabinets, and any other spaces that won't be painted; and subtracting those areas from your total before multiplying by the number of coats. Additionally, she might have mentioned that not all walls are perfect rectangles – what should the OQ do for a room with a cathedral ceiling (hint: the area of a triangle is ½ base * height).
Hatter provided basic instructions for estimating the paint needed to cover the sides of a box. She failed, however, to consider what a room actually looks like -- something the pros always take into account. Want to perform your own calculation? There are plenty of online calculators, like this one at Home Depot, that will give you much better results than the method outlined by our Dumbass of the Day.

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