Wired Computers for the Dummy Cyclist

routing computer wire on bicycle

If you were to come into the Antisocial Network world headquarters building through the garage, you might notice the number of bicycles stored there on any given day. All our staffers are avid cyclists, and about half are pretty handy when it comes to routine maintenance on their bikes. That's why the collected works of one Charlie Gaston so frequently... well, "piss them off" seems to be apt. Unlike those staffers, Gaston seems to have only a passing familiarity with cycling and its equipment, as she demonstrates for Trails.com in "How to Install an Old Bicycle Speedometer."¹

Although in another of her articles on the topic of bike computers (not featured here... yet) Gaston seems unaware of wireless computers, she opens this article by assuming that by "old" the OQ meant "wired" as opposed to, say, "used":

"Before wireless speedometers became available, cyclists used wired speedometers to keep track of speed, distance, cadence and altitude."

None of us here has ever seen a wired speedometer that tracks altitude, but what they hey – it's Gaston's implication that no one uses a wired cyclocomputer any more – utter bull, that. Anyhow, Charlie's instructions follow, clearly copied-reworded-pasted from some MTB forum that she doesn't bother to reference:

Attach the old speedometer to your handlebars using a cable tie. Protect the speedometer wire by routing it down the rear side of the shock... Secure the wire with a cable tie, but leave enough slack for the front wheel to spin freely without pulling on the wire. Attach the detection wand at the rear of the front fork of your front wheel. Secure the magnet to the spokes of your bike. Snap the old speedometer into place on the mount, which is located on the handlebars. Hit the "Reset," "Start" or "Power" button.

When our chief bicycle mechanic read those instructions she decided to take up day drinking... her comments:

1. Charlie probably means attach the mount to your handlebars.
2. Most mechanics we know route the wire down the brake cable. And BTW, only (some) mountain bikes have shocks to begin with. What about hybrids, road bikes, fixies, recumbents...
3. "Wand"? whazzat? Oh: Gaston's talking about the sensor.
4. Hey! Charlie got this (pretty much) right! Although the magnet only goes on one spoke...
5. Now she gets the "mount" thing right. But she forgot one thing: she needs to set the wheel circumference for her computer to be accurate. How's she gonna do that? Gaston and her content editor clearly lacked the slightest idea.

Charlie did have a "tip" for her readers: They should "Always refer to the manufacturer's instructions when there is a problem with an older model speedometer"... Well, duh. So here we have half-assed instructions cobbled together by someone who knew next to nothing about the topic, someone who omitted a crucial step and made up terminology for the others to avoid being nailed for plagiarism. We ask you: Dumbass of the Day? Sure, why not...

¹ Trails.com was sold and the new owners dumped all the old eHow content (smart move on their part). If you want to see it, however, the content is still available using the Wayback Machine at archive.org. Look for the URL  trails.com/how_32540_install-old-bicycle-speedometer.html

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