Bed Posts for Dummies

These legs ain't 4-by-4s, Erin

We often say that sometimes our DotD candidate's qualifications are subtle, requiring that our research team carefully pore over the content to recognize errors someone with no experience might not spot. Other candidates, however, more or less slap you in the face with a sort of bold and brassy dumbassery that's readily apparent right from the first paragraph. In the case of Erin Ringwald and her HomeSteady.com post, "How to Make a Bed's Legs," our staffer only needed to read the first phrase to realize that Ringwald was writing from cloud-cuckoo land!

Here's Erin's first sentence, in case you want to dispute our claim:

"Over time, your bed's legs can become damaged..."

The staffer who spotted that recognized immediately that the party planner with an English Lit degree had no earthly idea what she was talking about. And then she read the rest of the paragraph:

"...When the legs break or crack on your bed, your first inclination might be to buy a new bed. However, even without carpentry skills, you can make new legs for your bed."

Well, no, you can't – as Ringwald, who clearly lacks carpentry skills, made clear in the remainder of her post. The following are a few of her bizarre notions (in italics) with our comments.

• "Cut four 4-by-4-inch posts to the height you want the bed. Use a circular saw..." – No circular saw can cut a 4 x 4 in a single pass.
• "If possible, choose posts made from the same wood as your bed frame..." – Highly unlikely unless your bed frame is cedar or treated pine!
• "Turn the existing bed frame upside down. Place one wooden leg against each of the inside corners of the bed frame." – OMG, there are so many things stupid about that sentence!
• "Place one metal L-bracket on either exposed side of each leg. Place one arm of the bracket against the leg and one arm against the bed frame." – WTF?
• "Turn the bed frame over and place the box spring and mattress on top" – See comment above...

We suspect that Ringwald cribbed instructions from someone's cribbed instructions on how to make a platform bed. The problem, of course, is that no one said this was supposed to be a platform bed. Not only that, but this moron is telling people to assemble a bedframe that will be supporting several hundred pounds of person and bedding (not to mention a dog) with a couple of angle irons and some 2-inch screws? What moron thinks that will work?

Well, we know what moron: Erin Ringwald, our Dumbass of the Day.

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