Oil Patch Salaries for Dummies

If that's one of the largest structures in
the world, those must be BIG pickups!

A friend, who for a while attempted to educate the clueless about how the oil industry works; bemoans the fact that whenever people think of drilling for oil, those giant offshore platforms come to mind. Oh, yeah, and too many people think those are "oil rigs," the clueless fools. People who are clueless about the oil industry happens to be the subject of today's DotD nominee, buzzword aficionado Bridgette Austin, and the rubbish she posted at BizFluent.com under the title "Oil Rig Jobs & Salaries."

Austin (an "aspiring yogini") fell into the usual trap right off the bat when she "informed" her readers that,

"On-shore and offshore oil rigs are some of the largest structures in the world. Oil rigs are installed on land or in large bodies of water to drill and collect petroleum."

Those of us who've actually seen an oil rig – meaning a drilling rig – know that a land-based rig can be smaller than the average double-wide, something that certainly doesn't rank among "the largest structures in the world"! Some of 'em are driven around on trucks, for pity's sake! Oh, and while we're at it, rigs don't "collect oil"; they drill, not pump. Moving right along, Bridgette blathered about "teamwork" with this throwaway crap:

"Oil rig operators, geologists, drillers, engineers and project managers all work together to ensure that the machines and equipment used to extract crude oil from the earth and ocean floor run efficiently and with minimal error."

Well no, Bridgette, geologists have nothing to do with running the machines; that's the job of a tool-pusher and the roughnecks. Geologists just say where and how deep to drill. Idiot. Austin blabs on with rubbish harvested from somewhere, perhaps even another moronic eHow post. There is, of course, more (there's always more):

"Some of the job titles that fall under oil rigs include oil well drillers, project managers, petroleum engineers and estimators. Drillers fall under heavy labor and trade roles, while engineers and geologists analyze the statistics and research needed for locating oil wells."

Geologists "analyze... statistics"? Don't tell a geologist that! And, of course, Austin continues with her misinformation, this time about money:

"...oil well drillers made an average salary of $126,700 per year. In comparison test hole drillers earned $47,166..."

We aren't real sure what "oil well drillers" are, but we can assure you that Bridgette's salary comparison is flawed. Just what a "test hole driller" is and what one of them does on "an oil rig" is impossible to puzzle out, but we suspect that's a soil tester or someone working in the environmental field. Whatever, just tossing in some random numbers was all it took to get paid by eHow – and it's also all that's necessary to pick up (another) Dumbass of the Day award.

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