Opals for Dummies

low-quality fake opal

Everyone's heard of the Turing test, right? Can you tell whether the entity you're corresponding with is human or artificial? Yeah, that one. Of course, parrots can communicate, too... but no one gives them a Turing test, because we already know they aren't human. Likewise, English majors who attempt to parrot scientific facts flunk their own sort of Turing test... just like eHow.com's Michael Adkins¹ failed miserably in his Sciencing.com article, "How Are Opals Made?"

We've seen several questions of this type "answered" in the Leaf Group niches (Leaf.tv, OurPastimes.com, Sciencing.com), but they always made us wonder: did the OQ really want to know how to synthesize a gemstone? It typically takes serious lab equipment and lots of time: isn't it likely that they actually wanted to know something about the natural process? Adkins decided that the answer is, "No." That's why he forged ahead with an attempt to reword someone's description of the process. Seriously, though, it would have helped if he'd gotten the basics right; but he didn't: nowhere does he mention that opal is a polymorph of silica (SiO₂), chemically similar to quartz and christobalite...

...but he didn't. Instead, he attempted to reword a couple of online articles he found about opals, in the process munging up most of the science. Here; see what we mean:

• "Currently, there are at least three types of synthetic opals: Slocum stones, opal essence and opals created from the Gilson process. Both the Slocum stones and opal essence stones are difficult to tell from naturally occurring opals to the naked eye." - According to Michael's reference, Slocum stones and Opal Essence are either glass or plastic with foil inclusions to add "fire." Duh.
• "The Gilson process uses silicon to grow opals and, once the silicon seed that will become an opal is created, the opal will develop from this seed in 14 to 18 months." - That's not exactly useful information about how to grow an opal, is it! Check out this description of the Gilson process, written by someone who "speaks science."
• "Very few differences exist between natural opals and Gilson opals. In fact, Chemical Engineering News states that the only element that is not present in Gilson opals is water." - We dunno, but we think the difference between a lattice of artificial silica spheres and naturally amorphous hydrated silica is pretty major, Mike!
• "...opal chips are being manufactured that can carry and transfer information through the Gilson opal's photons." - Does Adkins even know what a photon is? We doubt it.

Not only did Adkins not actually answer the question – he studiously avoided technical details of the Gilson process and sidestepped any mention of other synthetic opals – he also botched what little science he attempted to pass along to his readers. For his efforts, DMS paid him a stipend, but we're giving him an award: the Dumbass of the Day.

¹ We were curious about whether Mike's related to fellow eHowian and DotD, W. D. Adkins.

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