Trenches and Ditches for Dummies

Backfilling a small trench

As the Antisocial Network's staffers roam the internet in search of people being stupid for money (in print, anyway), they occasionally run across content so utterly clueless that they're taken aback. That's exactly what happened when one of the research team members encountered "How to Shore a Trench" at the Leaf Group niche site HomeSteady.com. It took just seconds to realize that freelancer Rachel Lucio was utterly ignorant of her supposed topic when she tried to "write to the title" for eHow.com.

Lest we find ourselves in some sort of legal trouble, we'll reprint Rachel's warning:

"The Occupational Safety and Health Administration requires any trench 5 feet or deeper to be shored."

Rachel's problem from that point forward is that she failed to understand that not all trenches are "5 feet or deeper" and that the average homeowner might want to know how to keep the walls of a trench just a couple of feet deep from collapsing in loose soil. That's why her instructions were so... useless. Here's what Lucio told her readers to do:

1. Consult an engineer and create construction plans.
2. Obtain city and county permits.
3. Train for the project. OSHA requires the presence of a "competent person" onsite at all times to make critical safety decisions.
4. Mark utilities.
5. Rent equipment needed for digging and shoring... [like] a backhoe, trench boxes or shields, hydraulic shoring system and lighting.
6. Excavate.

But wait, Rachel: what if people only want to dig a trench across the back yard to bury a water pipe to a new she shed? run power to a man cave? Do they really need to consult an engineer and take OSHA training? No, not for a trench six inches wide and 18 inches deep: all they need to do for that is use some plywood and short lengths of lumber to keep the sides from collapsing before they're ready to backfill the space. Sheesh, Rachel: you couldn't find anything about DIY trenches in loose soil? Better work on your research skills before you get another Dumbass of the Day award. Oops: too late.

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