Hanging a Pool Table Light for Dummies

I don't see the extension cord, Lacy

The staffers at the Antisocial Network can be just as lazy as any unpaid interns (because that's essentially what they are?). In other words, once they've located a rich vein of dumbassery, they're likely to mine it for a while. One such vein is the work of veteran eHow,com contributor Lacy Enderson, whose work Leaf Group has spread across their niches. Now, there are six: here's Lacy's seventeenth contribution, from SportsRec.com (SportsRec? really?): "How to Install a Pool Table Light."

We'll never know where Enderson came up with her "instructions," since the post predates the requirement to provide references. Based on her instructions, though, it appears that Lacy repurposed something about a 1970s swag lamp. In essence, she says to,

• Locate a stud in the ceiling
• Drill a hole, or holes, in the ceiling through the studs. Install metal hooks.
• Plug the power cord into the wall and turn the light on. You might need to use an extension cord if the power cord isn't long enough.

OK, dumbass, here's what's wrong with your instructions:

• There are no studs in a ceiling. Joists or rafters, yes, studs, no.
• Drill "through the studs"? Is this moron kidding?
• "Plug the power cord into the wall"? Lacy, there's no plug on these lights; they're wired into a ceiling fixture. In fact, running an extension cord to one would be a fire hazard!

Oh, sure, Enderson blathered a bit in the "warnings" section about hard-wired lights, but let's be real: Lacy's a serial Dumbass of the Day who wouldn't know how to wire a light fixture if she had plain English instructions in front of her.

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