The Ford F250 for Dummies

When the phrase "pickup truck" is mentioned, people in the western hemisphere are pretty likely to flash on an image of the Ford F-Series. Sure, in the eastern hemisphere, the Toyota HiLux is the vehicle of choice for African and south Asian militias; but here in the States it's Ford. The company sells more than a million of 'em every year, almost entirely in the USA and Canada... which leads us to wonder why some Brit by the name of John London decided he was qualified  to describe "1983 Ford F250 Specifications" for ItStillRuns.com.

Oh, heck, we know: he has a journalism degree, which means he can write knowledgeably about any topic! Our boy John went to – get this – an Australian website to get his "information," which means that right away it's suspect. Heck, it might even be upside down! London's definitely upside down, however, given this introduction:

"The 1983 F250 is a full-size pickup truck produced by Ford. The vehicle belongs to the famous Ford F-series, which also includes the F100 and F150. The F250 is larger than its two smaller brothers. In 1983, like in most model years, it was available in multiple configurations."

First, we'd be inclined to say "was produced," ourselves. Second, London opened the door with that "multiple configurations" comment, so let's see what he has to say about it. According to John, the most important difference in the "configurations" is that there were two engines:

"Buyers could choose a 4089 cc, inline four-cylinder, overhead-valve engine with a 93.5 by 99.3 mm bore and stroke and a 9-to-1 compression ratio. Or they could opt for a larger, V-shaped [sic] eight-cylinder, overhead-valve engine, which had a 101.6 mm bore, 88.9 mm stroke and a compression ratio of 9-to-1."

First off, what's this "V-shaped" crap? Does this moron not know what V8 engines are? And we expected him to mention horsepower and torque up front... no wait, that's next:

"As the 1983 Ford F250 models were equipped with rather large engines, they certainly had ample power..."

Excuse us, but a 250-in³ engine would not be considered "rather large"; not to mention that we're pretty sure the base engine for an F250 was a V6, not an in-line 4. Maybe in Oz... But, then, London probably didn't know the difference.

John went on to explain that, at least as far as he knew,

"Whatever the engine, the truck was 211 inches long, 80 inches wide and 72 inches high. The wheelbase measured 132 inches. The pickup truck weighed 4,260 lbs. without and 7,600 lbs. with liquids."

Besides the obviously ridiculous notion that the coolant, lubricating fluids, and fuel weighed over three thousand pounds,  London curiously did not bother to notice that the truck also came in an extended cab version and a standard cab long bed. Such is the problem with allowing a British J-School graduate, who may have never seen a heavy-duty Ford pickup, try to describe one. He thinks a V8 engine is "V-shaped," he thinks that the "liquids" add 3,340 pounds to its weight, and he thinks a 4-liter engine in a pickup weighing more than two tons is "rather large," he neglected to say that the 1983 F250 came in several trim levels, and he never even mentioned the available diesel engine. So is John's useless drivel Dumbass of the Day material? You bet it is!

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