Monday, August 27, 2018

Mini Bike Pumps for Dummy Cyclists

using a mini bicycle pump
We have several cyclists on the staff who think nothing of a 40- to 50-mile jaunt on a free day. All of them will chant the same mantra if asked: "Only a fool goes out on the road without the equipment to change a flat tire." So far, all of them include a pump in that equipment; generally the road style that mounts on the frame in place of a water bottle (although one still has a frame pump). Every one of them knows "How to Use a Mini Bicycle Pump," and to a man (and woman), they all think the SportsRec.com post by an anonymous eHowian formerly known as SmallBytes is... weak.

They aren't the only ones, though: in the brief period that the article was being rated by readers just after it was written in 2009), it was rated 2 stars out of 5. We have our own reason why, and it's probably the same as that of the other raters. Small starts by telling his/her readers that,
"A mini bike pump can be a trip-saver if your tire loses air while out on your bike. However, their small size can make them awkward and difficult to use. Knowing how to use your mini pump can take some of the worry out of going on a long bike trip."
Well, yeah, there's no arguing with that. What we can argue about is Bytes' instructions, which consist almost entirely of 1) how to tell the difference between presta and schraeder valves and 2) how to attach the pump to the valve. He also harangues his readers, twice, that you must be careful and,
"Do not apply pressure on your wheel spokes, this will cause your wheel to go out of alignment."
Ummm, no, that' probably won't happen unless you stand on the thing. Besides, it's not "out of alignment," it's "out of round." But those aren't Small's chief sins. No, Bytes's chief sin is pretty simple: tires don't go flat on the road without a leak, and SB never says word one about changing or patching the tube. Nowhere in eleven "steps" and almost 500 words is the reason for a flat mentioned!

Nowhere in those 500 words does Smally mention taking the wheel off. Nowhere does Bytesy say word one about laying the wheel on the ground so the pump head doesn't rock the valve stem. Nowhere is there a mention of how to set up the pump: does it have a hose? a T-handle? a foot pedal? Nope, just slap it on, "Place your hand behind the part of the pump connected to the valve to create a sturdier fit," and pump until you reach the "max [sic] air pressure." Yeah, right: that's gonna happen with a mini pump...

It's pretty clear that this moron never changed a flat on a bike in his/her life, yet our Dumbass of the Day had the gall to try to tell us how to use a bicycle pump. We concur with the two-star rating.


[confidential to Leaf Group: this rubbish isn't on CareerTrend, even though you seem to think it is]
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