Putting up Fence for Dummy DIYers

A few months ago, the intern who checks our posts for dead links noticed that Leaf Group seems to have trotted out a rewrite team to "freshen up" some of their posts. It sounded like a good idea... until we realized that most of the team are garden-variety freelancers with English Lit and "communications" degrees who do little more than tighten up the writing. The mangled facts and bald misstatements are still there, just... prettier. One of the first we noticed was "How to Build a Dog-Ear Fence," a Kimberley McGee rewrite of Jane Smith's old eHow.com post.¹

Like Smith before her, McGee seemed unfamiliar with the concept of fence-building, starting with the definition of a dog-ear fence:

"Putting in a dog-ear fence breaks up the boredom of a plain flat topped fence. With its tips cut at an angle, a dog-ear fence can add a charming aesthetic to an otherwise boring landscape..."

Really. And here we thought that most dog-ear fences were intended to be a fence, not a "charming aesthetic." Kimberley next demonstrated her ignorance of the fence itself, along with the composition skill that makes her an "award-winning journalist," if she does say so, herself:

"Dog-ear fence is available in a few styles. The solid dog-ear fence forgoes the spaces between the pickets. Spaced dog-ear fences have a gap between the pickets so air can flow freely. This also allows neighbors to peak [sic] into your property, although they won't see much. The spacing of the pickets offers a limited view. Vinyl dog-ear fences are manufactured in sections. "

The misspelling of "peek" and the non-parallel construction notwithstanding, McGee seems unaware that a fence-builder must always leave some space between pickets to allow for expansion, but apparently she's attempting to differentiate between the "solid" fence and the board-on-board style. We think...

Some of Kimberley's other bogosity includes her instructions to

• "Plan your layout down to the gates, if any, corners and property line. Make sure you have room to have full pickets at each corner and not be thrown off if you have a turn in your picket fence plan." – We're sorry, Kim, but that crap doesn't scan.
• "A dog-ear fence is wider than an aluminum or composite fence..." – WTF is an "aluminum fence"?
• "Place concrete in the hole before putting in the post." – Say what?????
• "To cut your own dog-ear boards, cut one picket to 4-feet in length. Use this first picket as a guide for the rest of your boards. Fasten a stop block and a miter saw to the work bench. Carefully lay out cuts at 45 degree angles. Start 1.25 inches from the edges of the board." – We aren't sure why anyone would cut their own pickets, especially since pre-cut pickets are far more economical than dimensional lumber. Oh, and all our pickets have a 1-inch dog-ear, not 1¼-inch...

McGee's most hilarious mistake, however, is that she never mentions the stringers between the posts, which suggests that she somehow thinks all the pickets are... well, we don't know: attached to the posts? Yeah, another bogus rewrite from Leaf Group's "cleanup team." We'll file this in our Joan Osborne file... "Sometimes the cure is worth than the disease."² Oh, and Kimberley? You're our Dumbass of the Day. ¹ We already featured Smith's version here earlier this year. ² As mentioned in Joan's lyrics for "Dracula Moon."

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DDIY - FENCES