Veneer for Dummy Woodworkers

This is what veneer looks like in the wild

It irritates our staffers no end when some witless, know-nothing freelancer simply rewords one source to "write" another. Around here, we call that "plagiarism," but the folks at eHow (now Leaf Group) apparently called it "contributing." The ire of our staff was raised today by one Natalie Andrews, who lifted all of what she thought were the pertinent details from an Australian hardwood purveyor when pretending to write, "Advantages & Disadvantages of Veneer Boards" for the mother site.

Andrews, being utterly ignorant of the topic herself, simply found the website of the Aussie lumber mill Gunnersons and shamelessly reworded big chunks of it. In the process of her "work," she made it pretty obvious that she was just a parrot... For instance, where Gunnerson said, "A veneer is produced by slicing or peeling selected logs at approximately 0.6mm in thickness, Each peeled veneer is called a 'leaf'"; in Natalie's hands the phrasing became, "Veneer production starts by slicing or peeling selected logs to veneer 'leaves' of 0.6 mm thickness." We'll buy that, of course, although in North America, veneer is commonly ¹⁄₃₂" thick, or 0.8mm.

Andrews next regurgitated Gunnerson ad copy that said, "Leaves of veneer are matched to create sheets for pressing onto board. The most common matching technique of veneer is Book Matched, whereby every alternative leaf is flipped so the back meets the front and joins to produce a mirror image of the one next to it"; which she turned into "Once cut, the leaves undergo a matching process, which includes book matching..." Yeah, OK. The OQ wanted to know the advantages and disadvantages, which Andrews eventually addressed:

• "Processing and Storage Disadvantages... Because a veneer board is composed of several layers, in some instances, it might peel off when stored improperly." – Most of that paragraph was about how plywood is processed. FWIW, we wouldn't call her stuff about peeling a "disadvantage," we'd call it a "tip."
• "Business Disadvantages": A veneer board business requires solid financial investing... – Pretty much any business "requires solid financial investing," Natalie!
• "Application Advantages... the finished boards are almost always aesthetically pleasing." – Hey! she got something right!
• "...Acoustic wooden veneer-based boards provide suitable noise control applications." – We have no idea where this bullshit came from.

• "Production Advantages... The waterproof aerospace- and marine-grade glue used in veneer board production allows the board to have more strength, compared to solid wood structures. The overlaying methods also provide greater resilience to cracking or splitting. The production methods are environment friendly, as thickness and wastage are controlled to maximize production." – All probably true of Gunnerson's product, so we're pretty certain Nat was just being a parrot again.

What Andrews never said was the most obvious advantage of veneer boards: it's a lot less expensive to put a thin sheet of veneer on plywood than to use solid wood of the same species. She only briefly touched on that advantage in her introduction, saying,

"...a veneer is an economical choice when deciding upon aesthetics in construction..."

...but never saying why. That, folks is proof positive that Natalie should be our Dumbass of the Day.

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