Subduction, the Dummies Version

Subduction zone

When it comes to freelancers taking on science, we're all for it. All for it, that is, as long as the freelancers seem to have some understanding of the concepts they discuss; a juxtaposition that seems far more unusual than is acceptable. What it looks like out there, at least as far as we at the Antisocial Network can tell, is that the STEM types don't freelance about science (they're all too busy working?); the liberal arts grads do. That's what we found today, with International Studies student Abby Cessna attempting to explain "What is a Subduction Zone?" for UniverseToday.com.

What Cessna probably did here was to attempt to reword a chunk of the syllabus from Physical Geology 101, the only elective science course she took. That being said, Abby's outline is generally accurate, at least the big picture stuff. She gets it that there are three kinds of plate boundaries; gets it that the crustal plates are in constant, albeit slow, motion; gets it that there's a "ring of fire" around the Pacific Ocean. What Cessna doesn't get right is the details, details like,

• "When two tectonic plates meet it is like the immovable object meeting the unstoppable force. However tectonic plates decide it by mass." – By "it," Abby means "which plate subducts." That's not correct, however: they "decide" based on density, which (although she probably doesn't know it) isn't the same thing as mass.
• "The [subducted] plate enters into the magma and eventually it is completely melted." – No, Abby, the plate enters the mantle, where it melts and becomes magma.
• "There are some interesting theories about why Subduction occurs in the Earth’s crust. One common theory is that subduction was initiated by major impacts by asteroids or comets early in Earth’s history. This makes a lot of sense due to the geologic evidence of large impacts scattered around the world." – Maybe, maybe not; but Abby's batshit crazy if she thinks there is any remaining evidence of impacts during the first three billion years of Earth history.

"Understanding how subduction zones work is important because it helps scientist to identify areas of high volcanic and seismic activity. " – Hell, you don't need to study subduction to identify seismically active areas! "The denser plate is the one that slips under the less dense plate; the younger plate is the less dense one." – Well, at least she's gotten density right. We aren't sure, but we think she's discussing oceanic-oceanic subduction zones... "When the older plate is holding a continent however, it does not sink, which is reassuring." – [Howling in laughter...]

This, friends, is precisely the sort of bullshit young international studies students used to pump out in desperate attempts to pick up a few pennies freelancing. Sad, but true... and also a wonderful well of Dumbass of the Day candidates!

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