Kennels for Dummies

A kennel is a large doghouse for multiple dogs, isn't it?

We had a string of DotDs recently who had all decided that they were allowed to define a critical term however would make it easiest to fake their way through a set of how-to instructions. Now that we look more closely at the syndrome, it appears that many of the contributors at the former eHow.com were guilty of that crime against knowledge, contributors like the cutely named DillonWackerman¹ whose "How to Build a Large Doghouse for Multiple Dogs" can now be found at Cuteness.com (fittingly...).

Ackerman decided that the question meant that someone wanted a doghouse for two dogs. We disagree: if the OQ had wanted a doghouse for two dogs, the OQ would have said so. We are 99 and ⁴⁴⁄₁₀₀% sure that the OQ wanted to build a kennel. Like, you know, for multiple dogs? But Dillon disagreed (or, more likely, figured he had an easier answer), which is why he said,

"The dimensions of a mid-sized dog house, reserved for one dog, are 25 x 30 inches. Those dimensions produce a rectangular-shaped house. You can add room for another dog by doubling the dimensions, so the size of a house for two mid-size dogs is 45 to 50 x 55 to 60 inches."

Even if Dillon had been right that the OQ simply wanted to house two dogs in a single doghouse, all he did was copy (in part) the cut list from one set of plans and the directions (in part) from another set of plans, neither of which was for a two-dog house. Yeah, right. To make matters worse, when Leaf Group ported his post from eHow to Cuteness, they dropped the cut list... that sure is helpful.
Some of Ackerman's problems?

• His siding, floor, and roof is "weather-treated sheet." WTF is that? If plywood (probably what he means), how thick?
• His frame is 54¼" on a side, his siding is 54½" long.
• The siding is 48½" high, the frame (including bottom and skid) is 49¾" high.
• The original plans call for bevels on the upper edge of the sides; Dillon left 'em out.
• Then there's this crapalicious instruction: "Cut the 43 ½ x 43 ½ board from corner to corner. Connect the two triangular pieces by nailing the four 44 ½ x 2 x 4 boards, rotating the board side to be flush with the sheet edge, to the inner bottom and upper corners. The two boards connecting the upper corner will touch, and they should also be rotated outward." Hmmm: somewhere in there those 2-by-4s need to be mitered...

Most of the instructions are about that clear; something that a content editor with experience in reading how-to carpentry would have recognized as dreck. If built as instructed by our Dumbass of the Day (and his clueless content editor), the finished project will have open edges and exposed corners, probably not a particularly weathertight doghouse.

Then again, we doubt that the OQ wanted to build something like this in the first place.

¹ We're gonna assume that his real name is Dillon W. Ackerman...

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