Bicycle Locks for Dummies

Proper use of bicycle U-lock

We run across some truly cockamamie notions as we read through the work of freelancers on content farms with alleged "editors"; the most prominent of which are the old Demand Media sites and WiseGEEK.com. It seems that most "editing" carried out on the occasionally cleans up grammatical errors but is primarily intended to force the content into a site style. The notion of accuracy, unfortunately, seems tertiary (at best)... just look at what freelancer S. Mithra managed to barf up in "What Should I Consider When Buying a Bike Lock?" with editing assistance from Niki Foster.

Mithra, who it appears has never locked up a bicycle, babbled incoherently for much of the post. Oh, S. covered some of the bases, but it was pretty clear from the wording of some passages that he (she?) merely reworded something he'd found elsewhere; something that might have been rather dated. Take, for instance, the statement that,

"On a busy college campus, for example, thefts are often crimes of convenience when someone spots a bike that hasn't been locked at all."

Really? People don't lock bikes on campus? Not that we've noticed anything in the past thirty or forty years... and then there's this backward statement:

"...people might have specialized equipment such as crowbars, lock-picks and hacksaws that are no match for weaker locks. "

Besides the reality that weaker locks are no match for "specialized equipment" rather than the other way 'round*, said equipment is far more likely to include bolt-cutters and canned nitrogen than "crowbars, lock-picks and hacksaws." When it comes to the security system itself, Mithra babbles that,

"The bike lock mechanism is composed of two different parts: a structure that fastens your bike to itself or to a stationary railing and the lock itself, both of which have strengths and weaknesses."

Of U- and O-locks, S. warbles that,

"These locks fit through your frame, wheel, and a stand or pole. Their unique shape makes it harder to pry them apart with crowbars or saw through them. Available in different sizes, you should select one that fits snugly around the bar of your frame."

First, no such lock "fits snugly around the bar"; second, bicycles have more than one bar; third; the lock must be large enough to enclose a frame member, one or both wheels, and a stationary object. Sheesh.
With advice like that, it's no wonder we think Mithra (and Foster) well-deserving of the title "Dumbass of the Day."

* Why didn't Mithra's editor catch that, anyway?

copyright © 2019-2022 scmrak

DD - BICYCLES