Spiral Staircases for Dummies

Classic spiral staircase

We poke a lot of fun at the Leaf Group family of niche websites, mostly because the standards for those old eHow.com articles tended to be strong on style and weak on substance. Other content farms, however, were even more... forgiving? of writers who pulled stuff like bait-and-switch or advertising masquerading as information; both of which are instant qualifications for DotD status. The site called LovetoKnow.com, regardless of the tagline "Advice you can trust," does (did?) not appear to have much in the way of standards, which is why an wannabe food and interior decoration blogger like Sara Elliot could get away with a title like "Build a Spiral Staircase."

We'll give Elliot this much, at least she didn't include "How to..." in her title. Still, the post has some bizarre notions and strange tips; perhaps because Sara's education is in English instead of anything remotely related to building, staircases or otherwise. We're talking strange notions like,

"In Medieval times, spiral staircases wound up into turrets and church pulpits, or descended into cellars and dungeons. The history of this early architecture lingers, making spiral staircases romantic choices."

A stairway to a dungeon seems "romantic" to her. Wow...

Elliot, typical of freelancers with construction "advice," spends a couple hundred words blathering about permitting before performing a copy-reword-paste job on general specifications. Like this one:

"7.5" Minimum center of tread"

What does that mean, Sara?¹  Then there's this bit of... what: obsolete political correctness?

"The space can be cramped too, particularly if you are big boned."

You meant to say "curvy," dincha, Sara? And finally, Elliot has some "tips" for her readers:

• "When you build a spiral staircase, the math can get a bit tricky." – Something tells us you aren't gonna help with the math, Sara.
• "If you are an experienced woodworker or handyperson, you may be able to install a spiral staircase yourself, but it isn't a one-man job, so plan on calling in a few favors." – We'll be sure not to call you, Sara!
• "Floor-to-floor height is not the same as floor-to-ceiling height." – We sure hope no one is stupid enough to think they are the same. Maybe an English Lit grad...

And that's it. But wait: where are the instructions? Our Dumbass of the Day didn't include anything except some "tips" and specifications she liberated from a vendor. For that we'd have gone straight to the source.

¹ She left out an important qualification: "...with each tread having a 71/2-inches (190 mm) minimum tread depth at 12 inches from the narrower edge." Think Elliot knows what she's talking about?

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