A Dummies' Signpost Plan

real estate sign post

One of the staffers was rummaging through several hundred suggestion box submissions when she came across a post that combined a newbie nominee, a new website, and a heap of utter bullshit in just 380 words of text. It's been a while since we ran across a freelancer so clueless, but we think you'll enjoy Louise Balle (aka Jade Balle) and her TheClassroom.com post, "How to Make a Real Estate Sign Post." Really...

There's more than one way to skin this particular cat;, but we figured that the signpost the OQ had referenced was most likely the inverted L shape that Century 21®, among many other realtors, uses (see the image above right). Balle apparently thought so, too. We say "apparently" mostly because her sole reference was to a company selling a similar sign. When it comes to the execution of her "how to," though, Louise was wa-a-a-ay  off base. Just check out instructions like these:

• "Whittle the bottom of the four-by-four post carefully to a point with a wood carving knife." – This yutz does know that "four-by-four" means four inches¹ on a side, right? And she wants you to "whittle" it to a point? With a knife?
• "Next, lay the two-by-four board across the four-by-four post (the four-inch side should lay down flat), so that it's about six inches from the top of the post... Nail the board to the post at the intersection with three five-inch nails." – Traditionally, the crosspiece is also a 4-x-4, and both are notched to make a lap joint.
• "Use 1-inch nails to attach two metal hanging hooks to either the front or back of the top board." – Shouldn't those be eye hooks screwed into the underside of the crosspiece?
• "Hammer the four-by-four post about a foot deep into the ground." – Wouldn't it be easier to set the post in a hole? Sure it would! Though it should be 24 to 36" deep...

What's the result? Well, you have a clumsy, lopsided post that won't stand up in even a moderate breeze; a signpost that looks like something put together by a fourth-grader; and several hours spend attempting to sharpen a post so you can "Hammer [it] about a foot deep into the ground."

In short, you have a Dumbass of the Day production... congratulations, Louise / Jade!

¹ Actually, 3½ inches, but still: whittle???

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