Composite Decks for Absolute Dummies

composite decking installation

Every once in a while someone at the AN runs across a freelance post that is so totally clueless that it is immediately placed in the running for the title of Dumbass of the Year. Today's is one such nominee, a piece of alleged "how-to advice" that is so filled with misinformation that one wonders how it ever got published (much less has graced a website for more than seven years). We have to admit that some of what freelancer Meaghan Ellis says in the HomeSteady.com post "How to Install ChoiceDek"¹ was sort of correct, but the rest of it? Well, we'll just let you decide...

Ellis has only been here once before, but that one was a doozy. This time she's valiantly attempting to explain how to install a now-defunct brand of composite decking, something similar to Trex®. We had to go to the WayBack machine to find her reference, since the ChoiceDek website is now in French and doesn't include any references to decks (at least we don't think so). But enough of that: let's see what foolishness Meaghan had to impart, beginning with her introduction:

"Essentially different from most outdoor deck accessories, ChoiceDek boards are made from composite materials that are both wood and plastic with a wood-textured exterior comparable to natural, authentic wood. This type of boarding requires a specified method of installation."

Say what??? This "boarding requires a specified method"? WTF does that even mean, beginning with the word "boarding"? Well, we guess that the best way to figure it all out would be to walk through Meaghan's instructions. So here they are... at least the interesting parts:

1. "The boards should be placed parallel, two points apart." — Just what are these "points," anyway, Meaghan?
2. "Space each board 1/4 inch a part [sic]. This allows for proper water drainage along with wood swelling and expansion due to climate changes." — We're pretty sure the instructions don't say "wood swelling"... and they probably reference temperature changes, not "climate changes."
3. "Place each 2-1/4 #7 trim-head screws [sic] into the proper bolts and fasten them." — We think Meaghan conflated installing decking with installing posts for the railings here... but we can't be sure.
4. "Adjust the depth of the carbide-tipped saw's blade to the thickness of the boards. Mark the carbide-tipped saw's cut with a piece of white chalk. Scrape the edges of the positioned deck boards." — The installation instructions for this step (probably finishing the ends of the deck) are pretty vague, but they're a lot clearer than Ellis' version. Her instructions simply make no sense...

When all is said and done, we're pretty certain that Meaghan had absolutely no idea what she was writing about. Her steps are at best confusing and at worst downright useless. We can't be sure, but she seems to have tried to incorporate some generic instructions for a natural wood deck. You have to know that any competent editor would have sent this dreck back for a total rewrite; but that's not the a good description of the average content editor at eHow.com, where this post started in 2012. Her editor should be sharing this Dumbass of the Day award with Ellis, but such is life...

¹ The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_10012261_install-choicedek.html

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