DIY Benches by and for Dummies

wooden bench with hairpin legs

If you'd gotten the impression that the sites formerly known as eHow are moribund, you haven't been paying attention closely enough. Not only has Leaf Group (the new name for Demand Media Studios) enlisted a handful of freelancers to rewrite old content, they appear to have found a few bloggers to crank out content to keep some of their niches "fresh." Most of the new content we've seen at Hunker appears to be lightweight reviews of Walmart's latest decor items, but we did find one mommyblogger attempting to write DIY instructions. Actually, Caroline Burke is a "mummyblogger," being a Brit... but her "DIY Modern Garden Bench Literally Anyone Can Do"¹ still leaves something to be desired...

Once we got past her misuse of the word "literally," we took a look at the plans. They call for a single slab of wood fit with a couple pairs of those ugly hairpin legs. Apparently, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Whatever the case, we weren't terribly impressed with Caroline's grasp of either the materials or the tools, beginning with this suggestion...

"We've used a piece of live edge hardwood that measured 1 foot by 3 feet. (If you find a larger piece, you can always have your local hardware store cut it to size for you.) Be sure to choose hardwood rather than softwood. Oak, cedar, redwood, acacia, or walnut are popular choices."

First, you'll have a ridiculously hard time finding "live edge hardwood ... [at] your local hardware store." Second, cedar and redwood aren't hardwoods. Third, not only is acacia hard to find, it's also pretty hard for an inexperienced woodworker to handle. An experienced woodworker might suggest ash, hickory, maple... Fourth, that walnut's gonna cost more than $10 per board foot, so a 3 x 1 slab will be at least $30, not to mention difficult for a beginner to work. Burke's instructions are a little better than her grasp of lumber, but still a bit shaky. Take these instructions:

• "Drill pilot holes for the legs..." — We think she means pilot holes for the screws, but you can never be sure.
• "Drill the hairpin legs into place." — No idea... maybe she meant "screw"?
• "Take a hand sander and the sand the sides of the hardwood." — Sloppy writing, not to mention that you wouldn't sand the sides of "live edge hardwood."

Never mind that Burke's hairpin legs cost twice her estimate of $20, she also didn't seem to notice that they aren't rated for exterior use. In other words, the project our Dumbass of the Day's readers would spend at least $70 on is probably only gonna last through a couple of summers...

¹ Project plans pretty much the same as those in this YouTube video...

copyright © 2019-2022 scmrak

DDIY - FURNITURE