Sump Pumps for Dummies

Sump pump

It's a tenet of the faith at the Antisocial Network that, if you want to know what an "X" is, you ask someone who knows what an "X" is. Curious about the process of photosynthesis? Your plumber is probably the wrong person to ask. Got a leaky faucet? You most likely wouldn't go to your hairdresser for help. So why is it that so many freelancers at sites like WiseGEEK.com think they can be an expert on everything? They surely aren't as is proven by S. Mithra in "What Is a Sump Pump?"

Mithra's been here before, misinforming readers about bicycle locks and solder. Now, s/he's back to share a soupçon of knowledge about sump pumps, a tittle of fact that can be summarized in one sentence:

"Most sump pumps are powered by electricity."

That's the first sentence in the fourth paragraph: we had to read that far to find a sentence without some sort of error. To get to that point, we read past such dross as,

"A sump pump keeps the space beneath your basement, and your basement itself, from flooding during excessive storms."

The ambiguity of "excessive storms" notwithstanding, sump pumps are there to prevent groundwater from infiltrating a below-grade space. Oh, and just what on earth is "the space beneath your basement," anyway? Next, we learn that,

"Many houses in wet climates are built with a sump that drains the basement and the area under the footings of the foundation of excess water."

First, they aren't only used in "wet climates," and second, Mithra's ignorance of foundations is appalling: the sump pump helps remove water from underneath the slab, not just "the footings of the foundation"! That's before S. claims that,

"Most problems with the performance of your sump pump can be corrected by unjamming or replacing the floater..."

...to which our house plumber says, "WTF is a 'floater'?" and them grumbles that he wishes that was the most common fix. He also notes that S. doesn't seem to know that the discharge pipe for a sump pump typically includes a check valve to keep water from flowing back in. We're pretty sure a knowledgeable person wouldn't have made all those mistakes, meaning that we're perfectly happy to reward Mithra with yet another Dumbass of the Day award. Editor L. S. Wynn probably deserves one, too...

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