Fossil Fuels Production for Dummies

Which "frequency" means there's oil, Russell?

Very few consumer commodities are as poorly understood as fossil fuels, in particular oil and gas. From the bozos who think that oil reservoirs are "underground rivers" to the peabrains who seem convinced that there is an oil well underneath every convenience store, the lack of knowledge can be astounding. The contributors to the erstwhile eHow.com did little to alleviate this ignorance, often expounding the same bogosity as their peers. A case in point is polysci major Russell Huebsch and his rather blasé approach to science in "How Are Fossil Fuels Extracted From the Ground?" at Sciencing.com.

Like most of the drones writing at eHow, Huebsch started out with boilerplate comments about the importance of fossil fuels to the modern economy and finished up with more boilerplate about the stuff's contributions to global climate change. His tenuous grasp of science, however, is evident even in that last, where he declaims that,

"Fossil fuels emit carbon dioxide when burned, a gas that traps heat below the earth's atmosphere, causing a greenhouse effect."

Our staff science types note that A) fossil fuels do not "emit" carbon dioxide, CO₂ is a byproduct of combustion; and B) even fifth-graders know that CO₂ traps heat within the atmosphere, not "below" it. That's just part of Russell's ignorance, though. Here's more:

"Fossils fuels come from plant and animal matter that died millions of years ago. Soil and sediment built up over time, putting pressure on the material and forcing oxygen out..."

We're at a loss as to where Russ came up with this "forcing oxygen out" bushwa. Maybe he's thinking of diagenesis? Who knows, and who knows where this crap comes from:

"Scientists look for gas and oil deposits with special equipment that causes a vibration in the ground as certain frequencies are associated with oil and gas."

If only finding oil and gas was that easy... No, Russell, you blithering idiot, the "vibration in the ground" is NOT a direct hydrocarbon indicator – see the image above produced by that "vibration in the ground"! How many of you freelancing morons do we have to tell the same thing?
Three cheers for another scientifically ignorant freelancer with a liberal arts degree trying to explain science: do you have any idea how many of you have won the Dumbass of the Day award so far? It's a large number... as of this writing, 259 of you. Sigh.

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