The Dummies Guide to Kelly Hoses

rotary drilling rig

A not-surprising number of freelance writers apparently consider themselves to be "a jack of all trades," based (we assume) on the belief that they developed mad skillz for research while getting a college degree. While we whole-heatedly agree that it's possible to become well-versed in an esoteric topic through weeks, months, or years of research and conversation with experts; we submit that it's highly unlikely that anyone can write authoritatively about a broad variety of fields if all they've done is read the relevant Wikipedia article. That's apparently what happened when WiseGEEK.com (and eHow.com) freelancer Maggie Worth tried to answer the question, "What Is a Kelly Hose?" for the WiseGEEK niche site, AboutMechanics.com.

Here's the answer, according to the glossary of oilfield terminology at Schlumberger.com:

"A large-diameter (3- to 5-in. inside diameter), high-pressure flexible line used to connect the standpipe to the swivel. This flexible piping arrangement permits the kelly (and, in turn, the drillstring and bit) to be raised or lowered while drilling fluid is pumped through the drillstring. The simultaneous lowering of the drillstring while pumping fluid is critical to the drilling operation."

As you read through Worth's "explanation," which is almost seven times as long (probably because WiseGEEK's SEO guru imposed a minimum word count), you'll see that Worth did little more than reword and expand on the industry-standard definition. The words are there, but they're separated by... misinformation. Take, for instance, Worth's first sentence:

"A kelly hose is a piece of mining equipment. Specifically, it refers to a piece of equipment used in the mining of fluid or semi-fluid resources, such as oil and natural gas. "

Calling exploration for oil and gas "mining" really sticks in the craw of our staffers, and none of them is particularly pleased with the classification of the kelly hose as a "piece of... equipment," either. Plus, everyone wants to know WTF "semi-fluid" means!

The real answer would probably reference drilling, specifically using a rotary drilling rig, words Maggie didn't use. Worth continued, in the process rewording the last sentence of the Schlumberger definition:

"The main purpose of a kelly hose is to allow the drill string to be raised and lowered at the same time that drill fluid is being pumped through it. This is important, as drill fluid is critical to the mining process."

No duh. Too bad she didn't actually understand that. Once she got beyond that point, unfortunately, Maggie demonstrated her unfamiliarity with the device:

• "In most cases, a kelly hose is classified as a large-diameter hose. " —  Frankly, who cares about "classification"?
• "The kelly hose must also be able to withstand large amounts of pressure. " —  Define "large amounts": truth be told, the pressure on the mud system isn't really all that high, Maggie.
• "For this reason, it is often made of highly durable material and is generally reinforced with steel." —  No, it's steel-reinforced because it carries a lot of weight and has to flex a lot.
• "Its purpose is to provide a flexible drilling fluid conduit, as a rigid conduit would be unable to move with the swivel and would therefore disallow movement of the drill string and, subsequently, the bit." — No, the swivel allows rotation of the drillstring and bit. 
• "drilling mud... cleans the bit and carries away drill cuttings so they cannot damage the drill assembly..." — No, that's not why drilling mud removes the drill cuttings. The cuttings have to be removed because otherwise the borehole would fill up with cuttings. It's not like a wood drill bit, whose spiral design carries cuttings out of the hole.

• "Drilling fluid is not necessarily fluid, but may, in fact, be a solid..." — We have no idea where that bullshit came from.
• "...the kelly [is] the actual mechanical piece that ejects the drilling fluid over the drill string." — Sorry, dumbass, drilling mud is pumped through the drill string, comes out of holes in the bit, and circulates back to the surface between the drillstring and the borehole wall.

We have nothing further to say, other than this: "Congratulations, Maggie, you are our Dumbass of the Day!"

copyright © 2020-2022 scmrak

SE - OIL