Sink Tailpieces for Dummies

bathroom sink diagram

The website formerly known as eHow.com had a fairly straightforward method of handing our assignments to its freelance "contributors": one team scraped likely-looking search phrases from the internet and assigned them to categories (sometimes nonsensically, in fact). The contributors eagerly awaited a "title drop" and would immediately claim as many as possible. The trick, some believed, was to grab a bunch that seemed similar and "specialize." That must be why the name of Steven Symes so often pops up in the plumbing department. Well, Steve's back, with another HomeSteady.com post. "Can You Replace Metal Around Sink Drains?"

It's testament to the plumbing ignorance of the English Lit student and five-time DotD that Symes was unable to identify the item in question as a flanged tailpiece. In fact, neither of the words "flange" and "tailpiece" shows up in Steven's post. Quelle surprise. He continues to refer to the flange as a "metal ring," even though the correct terminology appears in two of his references.

His third reference isn't actually about sinks; it's about bathtubs; unfortunately Symes used that as his main reference for how to remove the flanged tailpiece, explaining that you'll need to employ a drain key or a workaround involving a big-ass screwdriver. The omission's odd, since he lifted his information about plumber's putty from another reference but ignored the rest of the useful information. Some of Symes' problematic interpretations follow:

• "If you choose to replace the metal ring because you are updating the look of the bathroom’s hardware or because the old ring has worn out, " – It's not a ring, Steve, it's a length of pipe with a flange that fits into the standard-sized opening in the sink and a threaded section that allows you to tighten the flange in place with a large hut.
• "The metal piece you see in the sink’s drain opening is the drain assembly." – No Steven, it's the tailpiece.
• "Loosening a sink’s drain presents a challenge, especially if you have not worked with sink drain’s [sic] before. " – Your professors must be disappointed, Steve.
• "You must exert enough force on the drain assembly without scratching the sink to break the seal. If your sink’s drain assembly has a grid in it, you may form a makeshift tool to twist the drain assembly out of the sink. " – Dumbass! Loosen the big ol' nut on the underside of the sink, and then the tailpiece is easy to remove!
• "A replacement sink drain assembly needs to fit properly in your sink’s drain cutout..." – Bathroom sinks and kitchen sinks have standard diameters, bozo.
• "Always place all of the seals that came with the assembly over the underside of the assembly before tightening the retaining nut with a wrench." – Wonder of wonders, that's correct. Of course, if you're dealing with a bathtub drain (not, we hasten to remind you, Steve, the topic at hand), you can't replace the nuts and seals...

The nomination form for Symes' sixth award mentions several shortcomings, especially an obvious unfamiliarity with his topic that caused the boy to conflate removing a bathtub drain with pulling the tailpiece of a sink. He also neglected to mention that the tailpiece – a word he never used – connects to the P-trap plumbing, and so it must also be loosened at the other end.

Ahhh, but if Symes had done a better job (or known what he was writing about), he wouldn't be our Dumbass of the Day again, would he?!

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