Trees in Motion for Dummies

Predicted tree migration

Here at the Antisocial Network we like to say that we operate at the intersection of clueless questions and senseless answers. Nowhere is that locus more clear than in cases where a freelancer lacking the necessary knowledge attempts to answer someone's badly-worded question. Take, for instance the question, "How Do Trees Move?" and then inspect where it intersects with an attempt to answer it, an attempt written by Jacquelyn Jeanty for Sciencing.com.

Diehard fans of those lovable Ents in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings excepted, people know that trees don't move... at least not on their own. After all, they have that whole "root" thing going on. On the other hand, there is something to this particular question that might have been easier to understand (and answer) had the OQ worded the question something like,

"How does the range of a tree species move?"

Reading through Jeanty's post, however, one never quite gets the impression that she understands what the question is supposed to mean. Instead, Jacquelyn starts out by intoning,

"As large as some trees are, it’s hard to think of them as movable, but they do, albeit slowly. With environmental changes and human interaction, trees have moved for survival's sake."

She also informs her readers that,

"When trees migrate, they move in groups, like whole forests..."

...before suggesting that,

"Seedlings moved by the wind or by birds play a part in this migration."

That's before babbling that,

"Swedish researchers report a substantial movement of forests’ tree lines over the past two decades..."

...making it crystal clear that Jacquelyn is utterly ignorant of the meaning of "tree line"... among other basic knowledge about forestry, botany, climate change, and a host of other science.

Our Dumbass of the Day pounded out more than 400 words about poleward migration of plant zones – which is, after all, what she seems to be discussing – without once using the words hardiness, range¹, or zone. Oops.

¹ Actually, she did use the word "range" once, in the sense of a mountain range. Sigh.

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