Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Convex Fences for Dummies

curved-top fence
curved-top fence
One of the staffers moved from the south to the Midwest a few years ago and was taken aback by the prevalence of so-called "scalloped" fences; those that have a curving top between each pair of posts instead of a straight line. Truth be told, she thinks it looks stupid; though the arched-top style (convex curves) is a little more pleasing. Apparently, someone thinks the fence is "cool," so they googled "How to Cut a Convex Design in My Fence" and Mary Lougee answered it for eHow.com (now niched at HomeSteady.com). Unfortunately, Mary had some... problems.

Forced to write an introduction by eHow's site style, Mary burbled that,
"Wooden privacy and picket fences can be designer-friendly with a convex design so that they do not create a solid horizontal line at the top of the fence line as a boundary..."
We don't see how that's "designer-friendly," and we aren't quite sure how a line can be "solid" We guess that's as opposed to dashed... Anyway, Mary launched into her instructions, which involve cutting a template from plywood.
According to Mary, you clamp a sheet of plywood to a fence panel, with the top edge of the panel flush with the long edge of the plywood. Then,
"Measure and mark the middle of the fence panel with a pencil. This will be the tallest point of the concave design [sic] in your fence."
Ummm, Mary? If you were cutting a concave curve, the middle would be the lowest point. Leaving that aside for a minute, Mary then says to,
"Measure the fence panel 4 inches from the top on each end and mark with a pencil. Attach a string to the pencil and use as a protractor to draw the concave design on the fence panel."
Again with the confusion about convex and concave, but more to the point, how the aitch-e-double hockey sticks do you use a protractor to "draw the... design"? A protractor is for measuring angles, not drawing curves! Mary also said to cut the plywood and fence with a circular saw (AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!) and then use the plywood as a template. That raises other problems; e.g., what if you aren't using panels?
What the pros do is install the pickets and then use a piece of something flexible, such as lightweight PVC pipe, to draw the curve, then cut the pickets with a jig saw or reciprocating saw. If you're just cutting straight lines across each picket (which would look like a curved line), a circular saw might work, it sure as hell won't work to cut a curved line in a piece of plywood like our Dumbass of the Day says it will!
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DDIY - FENCES

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