Topography for Dummies

Topographic rendering of Martian dunes

A surprising number ... well, maybe not so surprising... of the nominees for DotD trip themselves up in the first sentence or two of their content. Whether it's utter bullshit or merely simple misinterpretation, though, defining the topic incorrectly is tantamount to volunteering to be excoriated for ignorance. A bogus definition, for what little it's worth, is exactly what returning DotD Nicole Schmoll attempted to foist of on the readers of "How to Explain Topography"¹ at Sciencing.com.

Schmoll, whose credentials for this topic are a masters in "communication," failed miserably in sentence number one:

"Topography is the study of the Earth’s surface features and shape."

Well, Nicole, that's not right: the study of the Earth's surface features and shape is a little thing called "geomorphology." Or maybe geography. It sure isn't topography, which is defined as "the arrangement of the natural and artificial physical features of an area." That's what happens when you try to reword the Wikipedia entry...
But Schmoll was not to be denied: not only was Nicky convinced that topography is a "study," she thought that you can "explain" topography by looking at a topographic map. No kidding: her "instructions" included,

"Pick up a topographic map of your city... Use it to educate yourself about what the colors, lines and symbols on topographic maps stand for."

Ummm, where were you going with this, Nicky? Oh, here: "After you have studied a topographic map and can explain the colors, lines and symbols to yourself, attempt to explain topography using a topographical map of your city to a friend or family member." We submit that what Schmoll did was tell someone (and not very well) how to explain a topographic map. Explaining topography, at least as far as we're concerned, requires that you use the knowledge you've accumulated to tell "a friend or family member" why the land has the shape it has; and what forces have shaped the surface of the Earth.

Telling someone what the "colors, lines and symbols" mean on a topographic map is NOT explaining topography, it's explaining topographic maps. Nicole should have known that if she was going to write this, but she apparently didn't. When people write bullshit about topics they don't understand, what do we do? We call them the Dumbass of the Day, that's what we do!

¹ The original has been sent to the cleanup team by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ehow.com/how_7549665_explain-topography.html

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