Triangulation for the Dummy Hiker

triangulation on a topo map

One of our staffers thinks that the somewhat arbitrary structure forced on freelancers at the former eHow.com was responsible for more stupidification of the internet than any other feature of the site. We've seen many occasions when a freelancer who'd put together a simple answer to a question got tripped up by the details necessary to pad the post to meet the minimum word count. Today's nominee is similar, but different: she's media studies student Tatyana Ivanov, and she contributed "How to Triangulate a Position" to GoneOutdoors.com.

Clearly bamboozled by the notion that anyone would want to "triangulate" something, Ivanov just Googled the phrase, and the very first result was some blog called "CompassDude" explaining how to find your location when you're out hiking. So, that's what Tatyana ran with:

"Imagine that you're lost in the woods with your compass and topographical map. To find your way back to a trail and safety, you must triangulate your position."

According to our map lady, from that point forward Tatyana did a semi-good copy-reword-paste job on CompassDude's instructions... until she didn't That's why someone flagged this post for nomination. The reasons for the DotD are multiple, including:

• Tatyana said you're "lost in the woods": unless the trees are pretty short, you can't see any landmarks for orienting yourself.
• She decided you need a protractor. That's not true if you have an orienteering compass. If you don't have an orienteering compass, Tatyana's instructions are of no use.
• Who carries a protractor on a hike, anyway?
• Ivanov says that the bearings to two landmarks are "translated onto your map to determine your location." No, they're plotted on the map. We have no idea where that "translated" comes from.
• Tatyana says to, "Draw a straight line with a pencil and protractor from the landmark on the map using the bearing indicated by your compass..." except that it's easier to just use the base of the compass... if you did it right.

One never knows, but it looks as though Ivanov tried to combine the instructions from two different sources and ran afoul of her ignorance of compasses, bearings, and maps. In other words, she did a Dumbass of the Day job on the post. She should have probably stuck to "humor."

Oh, and for what it's worth? nobody said anything about getting lost in the woods: people use triangulation all the time – and so do cell towers!

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