Geographic Research for Dummies

sample precinct map

We frequently find ourselves amused by the antics of the freelancers at the erstwhile eHow.com when faced with an ambiguous question. They weren't paid by the word and (usually) weren't paid by the hit, so it was to their advantage to pound out a simplistic "answer" to the question as fast as possible, even when it didn't make sense or was woefully incomplete. Today's nominee, Nellie Day, fell into the trap of tunnel vision when faced with the question, "How Can I Find What Precinct I Live in?" at Synonym.com.

Day, of course, assumed that the OQ wanted to know voting precinct. In an election year (like this one) that might be a reasonable assumption... except that "precinct" can mean many different geopolitical divisions. In Houston, Texas, for instance, there are nine constable precincts and nine commissioner precincts... which do not share boundaries (it's Texas: you expected sensible?). So we think the first question should have been, "What manner of precinct?"
Nellie, however, forged ahead:

"If you are registered to vote, you can check your voter registration card for your precinct number, or you can contact your county clerk's office."

That made sense, we guess. What didn't make sense, however, was,

"You will need to provide the name of your street, including any directional designations such as north or east. If you live in a particularly crowded area, you may also need to provide your ZIP code, plus the four-digit "add-on" code that follows your normal five-digit ZIP code."

Why she went into the ZIP code crap is unclear, when all that is really necessary is a street and house number (ZIP codes and voting precincts are utterly unconnected). Things got worse, however... Nellie then told her readers to,

"Consult a Geographic Information System Map: A Geographic Information System, or GIS, is a software device that maps out the precincts of particular geographic areas...To determine whether your area has a GIS-created precinct map, call your local county clerk's office or visit the website of your political party."

Oh: so we're supposed to download GIS software for this task? Why not just search the internet for "precinct map [name of county, name of state]"? That seemed to work for us... And finally, Nellie got all confused-like and said to,

"Call your city's police department and ask what precinct you live in."

From context, it appears that Day either thought voting precincts and police precincts are the same or just jumped the rails and started in on a different type of precinct. Either way, our Dumbass of the Day blew it.

Of course, the answer is simple: Google it. It took one of our least tech-savvy staffers less than five minutes to find the precinct of the last two houses she'd lived in (in different states). That was a lot less time than it took to read through Nellie's directions!

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