Tire Changes for the Dummy Cyclist

Bicycle tire lever

One of the staff's more... "experienced" cyclists claims to have repaired at least a hundred flats on bicycles over the years (he rides 5,000 miles a year on streets that seem paved with glass, so that's quite possible). He claims that he can flip a bike, pull off the wheel, and swap out the tube in under five minutes. Pumping that sucker back up can take a little more time. Whatever the case, he was NOT amused by the slap-dash job Jonathan Croswell did when attempting to explain "Easy Ways to Remove Bicycle Tires From Rims" at LiveStrong.com.

We aren't really sure we agree with Croswell's claim that "Bike tubes are sensitive things," or even that they're "fragile." It's common to get several thousand miles out of a tube if you're lucky enough to ride in an area that cleans its streets regularly. Be that as it may, Jon was rather obviously unfamiliar with the task at hand. For one, he never mentioned taking the wheel off the bike, an absolute necessity and sometimes more difficult than you might think. But let's see (And make fun of) what Croswell did say:

• "The common way to remove a bike tire is to start by taking off the valve cap." – Uh-oh, it appears that Jon wasn't aware that there are two kinds of valves: Schrader and Presta. If it's a Presta valve, you also have to remove the nut that holds the valve in place. 
• When it comes to using tire levers, he said to, "Pull down to try and pry the tire up off the bead. You might also try to latch onto a spoke, providing more leverage." – First, you need to pry the bead over the rim, not "pry the tire up off the bead"! And second, do not ever use a spoke for leverage. You can lock a lever onto a spoke while inserting a second lever, but that's because you only have two hands.
• Croswell also claimed that, "Some cyclists choose to remove only half the tire in order to access the tube and remove it... [but] you are less likely to identify what caused the tube to break when using this method." – Idiot: no cyclist out on the road (or trail) will take the tire completely off to change a tube. The smart cyclist feels all the way around the inside of the tire to see if there's glass, wire, or a thorn sticking through. And oh, yeah, tubes don't "break," Jonny
• Finally, Croswell claims that you can perform a "Hands-Only Removal." Well, maybe he (thinks he) can, but it generally takes more strength than the average cyclist possesses. Besides, that's not an "easy way"...

Croswell also did his readers a disservice by not mentioning that A) you should never use any tool other than a tire lever to remove a tire and B) you should never use any tool when replacing the tire on the rim. But, then, he probably didn't know either of those: you see, we strongly suspect our Dumbass of the Day didn't change a whole lot of bicycle tires while getting that BA in English...

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