Wraparound Shelves the Dummy Way

wraparound shelving

Sometime about 2011, suspiciously close to Google's Panda update (which was supposed to get rid of "low-quality content" [like eHow.com's]), Demand Media started requiring that their freelance "contributors" supply references for their content. Unaccustomed to having to back up their bushwa with factual material, many contributors were relieved to learn that the gatekeepers, aka "content editors," were just as uninterested in the extra work as they. That's why a significant fraction of the references cited have exactly nothing to do with the material the freelancers wrote. Here's an example: the HomeSteady.com post "DIY Wraparound Wall Shelf," uploaded by Nat Fondell.

As is our wont, the first thing we did was check Fondell's "references." We soon discovered that the "plans" he wrote up were nowhere to be found in any of them. We'd say that was because competent people wouldn't have written those plans, but we noticed that one of his references was every bit as clueless as Fondell. But we digress...
It's a pretty safe bet Nat wasn't much of a woodworker, considering that he wanted you to build the shelf from "2 wood boards, 4 feet by 6 inches by 1/2 inch." We've never figured out why eHowians insisted on boards ½" thick... That's not the best part, though. According to Fondell, you also need a "Flat metal bracket." That's pretty... inexact. What he said next, however, was even more interesting:

"Arrange the two wood boards in an L-shaped formation, with the end of one board butting against the side of the other. Set the flat metal bracket along the seam between the two shelves so that half of the bracket is on each side of the seam, and pre-drill holes through the bracket holes."

Yup: this "flat metal bracket" is apparently supposed to keep the joint square and flat. Well, we guess so, assuming your wraparound wall shelf will go in the garage. Nat also wants you to,

"Find and mark the placements of the wall studs with the stud finder. Measure the distances between the various studs and transfer those to the bottom of the assembled shelf board. Set the brackets in those positions and pre-drill the bracket holes. Attach the brackets to the wraparound shelf with the 1/2-inch wood screws."

Now, most people we know install shelf brackets on the walls and then set the boards on top of them. Apparently a dude with "dual Bachelors of Arts degrees in journalism and history " knows better than experienced woodworkers...

There's more, but you get the idea: regardless of how long this yutz had "been writing professionally," it's for darned sure our Dumbass of the Day had never built a wraparound shelf... and that anyone following these instructions is likely to be disappointed!

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