2-by-4 Projects for the Dummy Woodworker

Tables legs designed by a woodworker

We see some pretty goofy content in the eHow.com world, mainly in the niches to which Leaf Group (the current name of DMS¹) assigns the old content in a shameless attempt to "freshen" it for SERP. Never mind that, though: our staffers have noticed a particularly rich vein of dumbassery in the site Leaf calls "OurPastimes.com," especially in the "how to make" area. That's where we found Ann Azbill and her epically failing attempt to list "Do it Yourself 2X4 Wood Projects."²

According to Azbill (who pretty much cribbed an earlier, similarly-titled topic),

"2x4s (2-inch-by-4-inch lumber) are the building blocks of most wood structures and are used to support roofs and walls. They provide framework for insulation as well as electrical wiring."

Apparently, Ann was unaware that roofs and floors aren't framed with 2-by-4s; and there's that plumbing and wiring business, too. But we aren't here to chat about framing new construction (thank heavens). No, Azbill pounded out a list of four topics (one more than DMS demanded for a list article), including some pretty wacky statements... statements such as,

• "Outdoor Furniture: For legs, form two X-shapes fastened in the middle with bolts. Saw the ends of each X flat and bolt the frame to the legs."  – We're still trying to figure out the meaning of "flat" in that sentence. There's (a lot) more, but that gives you an idea...
• "Indoor Furniture: Build a table by installing four 2x4s 2 inches from the edges in each corner of a sheet of ½-inch plywood, forming the legs of the table. Attach the 2x4s with wood glue and wood screws." – Besides looking like utter doodoo, Azbill's version of a "table" would fall over in about thirty seconds, even after you, "from [sic] bracing [by attaching] 2x4s between the legs directly under the corner edges of the table."
• "Home Remodeling: Use a table saw to cut 2x4s in half lengthwise, essentially forming 1-inch-by-4 inch boards. Bevel one long end with a router and use the boards for baseboards or molding around a door. Glue two 2x4s together, forming a decorative 4-inch-by-4-inch beam and hang the beam from the ceiling." – Does this ditz know that you can buy 1-by-4s or, better yet, case molding? And that 4-by-4s are also readily available? No to mention WTF it means to "hang [a] beam from the ceiling."

• "Toys: Draw train cars on a 2x4 and cut the shapes out with a router." – Sorry, birdbrain, but you can't cut a 2-by-4 with a router!
• "[more] Toys: Make a simple doll bed by using 2x4s as slats for the bed." – Must be a damned big doll...

Clearly our Dumbass of the Day was spitballing. That explains why her "projects" aren't worth warm spit.

¹ Demand Media Studios, aka DMS, as in "you can't spell 'dumbass' without 'DMS'!"

² The original has been deleted by Leaf Group, but can still be accessed using the Wayback machine at archive.org. Its URL was   ourpastimes.com/do-yourself-2x4-wood-projects-6009366.html

DDIY - WOODWORKING