Wednesday, September 2, 2020

Dog House Roofs for the DIY Dummy

doghouse roof with drip edge
doghouse roof with drip edge
In case you haven't figured it out yet, the DIY types here at the Antisocial Network don't have much respect for freelancers who pretend they've carried out a DIY task just to make a few bucks. If you've done the job, especially more than once, and can write up a usable set of instructions; they say to have at it. If, on the other hand, you're like Casey Kennedy and have no earthly idea "How to Install Dog House Roof Shingles," you're gonna get a DotD nomination even if your work does make it to Cuteness.com.

Kennedy, who wrote this for eHow.com back when she was still Kate Hornsby, drew the ire of the local DIYers for one simple reason: she did not consider the scope of her project. Why do we say that? because the first step in Casey/Kate's instructions is,
"Measure the length and width of the roof to determine how many shingles you will need. Multiply the length times the width and divide the total square footage by 100 to find the number of bundles of shingles you will need to buy."
How big does this yutz think a doghouse is, anyway? And is she aware that 100 ft² is three bundles of shingles? or that even one bundle would cover an 8 by 4-foot doghouse? Apparently not... 

Kennedy carefully cribbed a set of instructions for a shingled roof, going into great detail about roofing felt. She did not, however, mention a drip edge; nor did she consider the high likelihood that a doghouse would not have a ridged roof, just a single-pitch shed roof. She also said nothing about the length of the nails, which might be a concern for many pet owners – you don't want roofing nails sticking through to scratch your pup!

Like so many eHow contributors, Kennedy didn't think through her "project," merely rushing as fast as possible so she could publish more bullshit and pick up more stipends. 
In other words, precisely the quality of work that earns people Dumbass of the Day nominations...
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