Thursday, September 17, 2020

Making Your Own Water Heater for Dummies

Plumbing for idiots
Plumbing for idiots
It is the unanimous opinion of the staffers here at the Antisocial Network that when someone enters the phrase "DIY Homemade Tankless Water Heater" into an internet search engine, it's one of the kind of people who undoubtedly hope to build one of the handy appliances with the skills and tools they have on hand. Apparently, however, eHow.com's Sonja Herbert was not in agreement with us. Instead, she decided that the "Homemade" portion of that search phrase was... silent.

That must be why Herbert's 380-word opus at HomeSteady.com includes a list of "THINGS YOU WILL NEED" that opens with:

"Tankless water heater"
Wait a minute there, Sonja, the OQ wanted a homemade tankless water heater, and you're saying that the first thing they'll need is a tankless water heater? It's as if someone wanted a MA in linguistics and you told them that the first thing they'll need is an MA in linguistics.

Of course, Herbert needed to pound out at least 300 words to collect her stipend, so she proceeded to tell her readers how to install such a device. Her nine-step post includes such magnificent wording as,
  1. "Route the hot and cold water lines to the location where you will put your new tankless water heater. If the pipes aren’t exactly where they need to be, you will need to cut the pipe with the pipe cutter and solder on new copper pipe."
  2. "If you have chosen a gas heater, solder the proper size of gas pipe to the location where your tankless water heater will be."
  3. " Bolt your tankless water heater into place in the location you have chosen. Use the bolts provided and a wrench, following the instructions that come with the heater."
  4. "For your gas heater, install a 5 inch or larger B vent. The vent needs to be extended above the roof for 5 feet or more." [verbatim from a reference Sonja didn't understand]
  5. "Install the pressure and relief valve into the heater, following instructions in the installation booklet."
All of which makes us wonder, if we have the installation booklet why do we need Sonja's bullshit? She continued to pass along "interesting" ideas, concluding with the following warning:
"Follow instructions for connecting the heater to the water and electricity carefully."
Ummm. weren't you providing those "instructions," Sonja? Maybe you should have written them "carefully."

Then again, it's pretty obvious that our Dumbass of the Day had absolutely no idea what she was talking about... heck, she couldn't even figure out what "homemade" meant!
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