Sand for Greedy Dummies

White Sands gypsum grains

When it comes to the babbling of self-appointed "professional writers," the ones who are most likely to irk our staffers are the ones who don't bother to check their "facts." We're not talking about opinions, as in moronic comments like "Ronald Reagan was the best president ever," we're talking about verifiable facts. Regardless of the current presidential administration's "alternative facts" message, something is either a fact or it's not. And Nathan M, a college student who called himself uniquecopy21 for the old eHow.com, really bugged one staffer with his "About Different Types of Sand."

We dug way deep in the archives using the Wayback Machine and found Nathan's original bio (written in 2008), in which he claimed to be a "Professional Alphabet Weilder [sic]." Clearly he was not a professional spell-check user... but that's beside the point. We're here to poke fun at some of the stupid things Nate said about sand, so let's have at it.

He opened his topic by telling us that,

"Sand, one of the most basic mineral formations on the planet, can be found in some capacity in every country, temperate zone, geographical region and continent around the globe."

Ummm, Nate? Sand isn't "mineral formations," it's sediment. In fact, we're not really certain what a "mineral formation" is... But that wasn't Nathan's only flub. Here are a few of the others, with our corrections:

• "The most common type of sand, found in non-tropical coasts and continental areas, is called silica, and usually takes the form of quartz." – What is silica sand when it isn't quartz, Nate? 
• "White sand, such as that found at the White Sands National Monument in New Mexico and on many beaches around the world is composed mainly of eroded limestone." – Sorry, Nate, the sand at White Sands is gypsum, not "eroded limestone."
• "Arkose is a form of sand high in feldspar and granite. " – Arkose is a rock type, not a "form of sand."
• "Magnetite, as well as the volcanic obsidian, produce a very course [sic] black sand. " – We guess he's talking about Hawaii's black sand beaches, which are neither magnetite nor obsidian grains.
• "Many areas in Southern Europe have a deep yellow color due to concentrations of quartz and iron." – Here, we guess he's trying to talk about sandstone, not "Southern Europe." In fact, sand bodies and sandstone the world over are yellowish and/or reddish because of the iron oxides present.
• "Care must be used when using sand for an activity such as sandblasting, as exposure to sand fumes can result in silicosis..." – No, Nate, not the "fumes"; the dust.
• "Quicksand, a natural phenomena [sic] characterized by a source of water from beneath that causes the sand to become a gel form, can be dangerous. Quicksand can be found in high-pore water areas." – Another booboo by the "professional alphabet weilder": quicksand is a phenomenon, not a "phenomena." That, and we have no friggin' idea what "high-pore water areas" might be...

So there you have it: some greedy frat boy sitting in his room late at night misquoting his notes from G101: Rocks for Jocks. 

Sadly, uniquecopy21 (who is by now, we suspect, at least uniquecopy33) already collected his stipend for this rubbish. Well, better late than never: he's also now collected a Dumbass of the Day award.

SI - GEOLOGY