DIY Frames for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXXX

Measuring for a frame

Few things irk the Antisocial Network staff DIY types more than the freelancers who "accidentally" wander out of their comfort zones and attempt to craft some half-assed set of instructions for what should be a simple project. That is, however, precisely what we found eHowian Nora Zavalczki doing when we ran across her OurPastimes.com post, "How to Make a Cheap Frame for a Whiteboard." We have no opinion on whether Zavalczki was competent to write her dozens of articles about arts and crafts, but she sure as hell did not know how to frame a picture...

...or, for that matter, how to write a sentence, seeing as she opened her post by telling us that,

"Framing can be an expensive, [sic] especially if you opt for custom-made designs."

That's far from her worst sin, however: Although Nora wanted her readers to "select a frame material that is sturdy enough to hold" said whiteboard, she seemed to think that "baseboard moldings or window frames" would be a good choice. We assume that by "window frames" she meant casing molding, but one never knows.

Now, we have staffers who've crafted frames out of reclaimed wood, so the idea's not that foreign. On the other hand, we also know that modern baseboard is not exactly the shape one might choose for a picture frame – perhaps Nora was thinking of base shoe? quarter-round? cove molding? 

It's when Ms Zavalczki got to crafting the frame that things got dicey. According to Nora, here's what you do:

1. "Measure the whiteboard and add 2 inches to each side to obtain the size for the frame." We find the specification of 2 inches to be oddly specific: in fact, the actual dimensions will be controlled by the width of the stock being used.
2. "Cut four pieces for your frame using a table saw." – Ummm, how long?
3. "Make rabbet cuts on the back of the frame pieces using your table saw... Measure the thickness of the whiteboard; the number you obtain is the depth for the rabbet. Establish the rabbet's width." – Uhhh, Nora? Just how do you "Establish the rabbet's width"? That's a pretty critical measurement, after all. 
4. "Cut each side of the frame at 45-degree angles, making sure that after you cut, the size of the shortest side or the inside of the frame is equal to the corresponding side of the whiteboard." – She's sort of on the right track. The key is that the whiteboard fits into the rabbets, so those are what you measure; not the "inside of the frame."

Zavalczki then advised her readers to reinforce the corners with dowels, although her instructions were – to be kind – ambiguous. And finally, her readers were told to,

"Paint the frame in a desired color... Varnish the frame and allow it to dry."

Which is it, Nora: paint or varnish? Never mind: our Dumbass of the Day clearly had no idea what she was talking about, especially when it came to measuring the frame. Suffice it to say, this is a set of instructions that ain't gonna work.

DDIY - WOODWORKING