Temporary Walls for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCXXVI

Plywood room divider

After Google's Panda Update in 2011, the online freelance market pretty much dried up. Only the hardiest of content farms stayed alive, and income from most was so paltry that only the most desperate contributors hung on. At eHow.com, for instance, "title drops" almost disappeared and most remaining topics seemed rather esoteric. The intersection of strange topic and desperate freelancer, however, created some... interesting content. We're talking content like Kelly Sundstrom and her Hunker.com post, "How to Make a Temporary Wall out of Plywood."

Asked about a "temporary wall." builders and other craftspeople assume that the OQ wants to know how to build something solid. Sundstrom, however, envisioned a portable room divider. Fair enough, except that while her concept was acceptable (to some), her execution left quite a bit to be desired. Kelly started by telling her readers to,

"Buy premade temporary walls at any office supply store or save money by making your own temporary walls using a few basic materials from a home improvement store."

Unfortunately, a search on "temporary wall" at Office Depot turned up a handful of listings related to "temperature wall." Similarly, Home Depot had nothing; Amazon referred seekers to room dividers and modular walls. Kelly apparently dove on "room dividers," where she appears to have shamelessly modified a post at some place called Hometalk. She even did a crap job of that, however. 

Here's where Sundstrom went wrong in her instructions:

• "Lay two 4-by-6-foot plywood sheets on a flat surface side by side along their lengths." – Plywood also has a thickness, Kelly, not to mention grades. In reality, nothing thinner than ¾-inch will stand without looking floppy, and only B or A grade will look acceptable. Next time, share more specs!
• "Place three brass hinges along the crease and tack them in place with the hammer." – Presumably, Kelly meant hammer and nails... except you can't nail plywood. You probably want screws!

• "Sand the outside of both plywood sheets... in small, circular motions." – No, Kelly, you never sand in a circular motion. You always sand with the grain. And while we're at it, how could you sand the inside of a sheet of plywood?
• "...paint the front and back of it with latex wall paint... Allow the paint to dry for 30 minutes before using the temporary wall for your event." – Better hope no one bushes against any wet spots!

Unfortunately, Kelly's original did not include references, so we don't know who to blame for this crap. That's why Sundstrom is, for the second post in a row, our Dumbass of the Day. Tough luck, Kelly...

DDIY - WALLS