Batter Boards for Dummies, Redux - The Freelance Files MMCXXXVI

squaring a layout

Unlike a lot of freelancers out there, our staff does due diligence in researching the topics "covered" (and we use the term loosely) by our nominees. Whether we feel expert or not, we research the topics to see if, perhaps, a freelancer stumbled over an alternative, yet still acceptable, method for how-to posts. When we were looking for possible sources of the misinformation in yesterday's post about batter boards, we found similarly clueless twaddle at another content farm (which predates the work of Nichole Liandi). Let's have a look at how Colleen McKie also got it wrong in her DoItYourself.com post, "How to Build Batter Boards" without, we might add, any improvement from "review" by Gabriel Connor Salter.

McKie must have found a resource that covered her topic fairly well, but her ignorance of her topic (she's "an experienced researcher [who]... especially enjoys learning about green solutions and interior garage design" based on her BA in English) caused her to leave out critical information. We can only assume that Colleen was forced to meet a minimum word count, so her instructions for building batter boards include a heckuva lot about layout and, unfortunately, all her information is lacking. Here's what she said by way of introduction:

"Batter boards ensure that all of the foundation walls are at the right angles."

Strange use of "right angles", IYAU, not to mention that they also ensure that a foundation is level. Whatever the case, Colleen starts off by telling her readers to set "pegs" (Americans say "stakes"; this must be based on a BritEng reference) at all four corners of the structure. Per Colleen, here's how: "According to the building plans, place your first peg in one of the corners of the structure." – You should probably consult your survey as well... Measure to the second corner and "install another" peg. Note that nothing is said about angles. "Measure from the second pegged corner to where the third peg should go and add it." – We have to wonder if "measure" is just distance or distance + angle.  "Repeat to place the final peg." – See above.

At this point, Colleen still hasn't mentioned batter boards. That's next:

5. "You will need 12 stakes made out of 2x4s. Each corner requires two stakes in addition to the pegs..." – Weird: that sound like either there are eight stakes or the "peg" is one of the stakes. WTF?
6. "...Measure out four feet diagonally from the first corner stake and hammer another into the ground. Measure eight feet from this one to the left and the right, placing the other two stakes." – Here, she's confusing the corner peg with a stake, not to mention that you don't measure "to the left and the right." you measure parallel to the two sides of the structure. She did get back to 12 stakes, though.

"At the corner where the ground is highest, make a level mark about six inches up on the outside of all three stakes." – Shouldn't you make one mark and transfer it horizontally to the other two? Sure you should. "Using that corner as a guide, make level marks on the remaining stakes." – Uhhh, how do you do that? Hint: think survey transit, line level, or laser level... "When done, each corner’s batter boards should make an L-shape." – Not if you followed Colleen's directions, they won't! McKie says nothing about squaring any of the corners; just "measure... and place the pegs." Of course, that's not really part of the process of building batter boards, but hey: as the lawyers say, she raised the subject of layout.

It's pretty clear the McKie realized she didn't have enough words in her instructions for actually crafting batter boards, so she threw in some layout instructions. The problem? Our Dumbass of the Day botched both the information about layout and the information about building batter boards. 'Nuff said? 'Nuff said!

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