How Dummies Find Gems in Indiana - The Freelance Files MMCXCV

rough emerald

If you're interested in accurate and reliable information, there's real danger in assuming that the "information" you receive from the people who till the manure-rich soil of content farms like eHow.com or its many niche sites. The business model of this particular farm is to "scrape" internet search queries and then pay freelancers to "answer" the questions. Unless you're lucky enough to find content written by someone with real knowledge of the topic, you're likely to find boilerplate bushwa. For an example of that sort of content, we direct your attention to the Sciencing.com post "How to Dig Your Own Emeralds in Indiana," recently rewritten by Marina Somma.

Emeralds, for those of you who have some knowledge of earth science, are one of the gem forms of the mineral beryl. With very few exceptions (one, in fact), emeralds are formed in an igneous environment. almost always in pegmatite bodies. For those of you unfamiliar with the geology of Indiana, we can state unequivocally that there are no pegmatites in Indiana; in fact, no igneous rocks are exposed at the surface anywhere in the state. In other words, the answer to the question, "How to dig emeralds in Indiana" is, quite simply, "You can't."

Somma, of course, could not reveal that fact. If she had, she would not have been paid for her... "work." So instead, she threw around some bullshit based on the Carrie Tuttle post she was rewriting. Although Tuttle never actually said, "You can't," she did only point readers to tourist traps that sell people a chance to pan some "ore" (local gravel and soil) that has been salted with a few low-quality gemmy crystals. As far as we know, those are still in existence (we didn't check). Where Marina stepped in the all-pervasive manure, however, was in her attempt to update Tuttle's post with new information, dross such as,

• "A few specific state and national parks give you a better chance of locating gems, particularly in Brown and Morgan counties." – There's only one national park in Indiana (Indiana Dunes), and it's not anywhere near either of those counties. Oh, and you can't "dig" in a national park and only in a few state parks around the country.
• "Some popular parks for finding gems and minerals in Indiana include:" – It's hard to list them since there are none, but Marina tried with the following...
• "Hoosier National Forest " – Neither a national nor state park, not to mention that at 320 square miles, Marina's suggestion to "take small surface-level samples" seems... pointless.
• "Bedford Limestone Deposit – This location is more popular for geodes, but with some digging, you might come across other gems beneath the surface" – The Bedford Limestone isn't a "location," not to mention that you don't "dig" in limestone 'cause it's a lot harder than dirt. Oh, and you wouldn't find any gems, anyway.
• "Many of the deep creek beds and cliff walls throughout Brown County in Indiana contain gemstones." – One word: "Bullshit." Maybe Somma thought that geodes are "gemstones," but they aren't
• "...public gem mines [including] Squire Boon Caverns [and] Marengo Cave" – Both are privately-owned limestone caves open to the public, but they're a far cry from "mines."

As far as anyone around here knows (and that's pretty far) the only gems found in Indiana are occasional diamonds found in glacial outwash in the northern part of the state; gems that came from the igneous rocks exposed in parts unknown, far to the north in Canada. Such stones are exceedingly rare; only a few dozen have been found and identified in the past two centuries. 

Somma appears to have decided that nice crystals of calcite or pyrite are close enough to emeralds "for government work." That, or our Dumbass of the Day decided that emeralds are frequently found in association with the geodes for which a few Indiana locations are famous. 

They aren't, hence Somma is the proud recipient of another DotD award for her mantel.

SI - INDIANA