Reservoir Engineering for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCXIII

Reservoir engineering workspace

Among the more... interesting... content-farm posts are those which purport to explain adulty jobs for kids on the cusp of choosing a life's work. Some descriptions are relatively easy – say cops, airplane pilots, nurses, firefighters – but others don't crop up in television shows or movies (except, perhaps, as villains), so the bright folks at WiseGEEK.com (and eHow.com) assigned their field hands to describe them. The problem, of course, is that the more technical the field, the less those J-school and English-Lit grads understand the job. Don't get it? Here's an example: D. Jeffress pretending to explain "What does a Reservoir Engineer do?" for PracticalAdultInsights.com (WiseGEEK's version of Leaf Group's CareerTrend.com).

Jeffress got it right, at least in part, by rattling off a general statement,

"A reservoir engineer researches, inspects, and evaluates underground oil and gas reserves to determine the most efficient means of extracting resources..."

In reality, we're a little confused about how someone, engineer or not, "inspects... underground oil and gas reserves"; but hey: gotta follow the rule of threes. Unfortunately, from that point forward, however, D. confused Reservoir Engineer (specific) with Petroleum Engineer (general). Apparently s/he did not know that reservoir engineering is a subdiscipline within petroleum engineering. Let's see some of the stuff Jeffress got wrong:

• "He or she then considers different drilling and extraction methods..." – That's the job of the drilling engineer, not the reservoir engineer.
• "Once a project is underway, the reservoir engineer helps to oversee drillers, construction workers, and scientists until completion..." – Again, drilling engineer. Oh, and engineers don't oversee "construction workers" or "scientists"!
• "The finished well is monitored carefully in the first few days to make sure the amount of oil or gas extracted meets predictions" – Probably completion engineer, maybe just some "scientists" or other.
• "He or she typically checks on production numbers throughout the drilling phase, which may last months to years, to ensure good results." – Uhhh, yeah. 

Here's the thing, D: a reservoir engineer is responsible for the reservoir, not the well(s), so a reservoir engineer doesn't get involved in most of the duties you lifted off a website describing petroleum engineering jobs. A reservoir engineer – and staffers here have known more than a few of them – are concerned with the entirety of the reservoir, modeling its production and the changes in production through time. They don't get involved in "a new drilling project," don't spend their time looking for "cheaper, more fruitful collection methods"... WTF are those "collection methods," anyway? No, reservoir engineers concern themselves with the properties of a reservoir (see image above) and the way fluids – gas, oil, and water – move through the rocks.

Jeffress didn't describe the specific duties of a reservoir engineer, just painted a broad-brush view of the duties of petroleum engineers writ large. We give special recognition people who, like D., expound on topics about which they know nothing: congratulations, freelancer Jeffress, you are now proud owner of the Dumbass of the Day award.

DD - CAREERS