Triangular Tables for Dummies - The Freelance Files MMCCX

simple corner table

Another day, another clueless freelancer pretending to be an accomplished woodworker. As the Twitter hashtag says, #mustbeeHow... whatever the case, today's nomination accrues to yet another HomeSteady.com post bundled with such fine work as that of the previous DotD, Judi Light Hopson. Today's awardee is accounting grad-slash-hotel geek Dan Zisko, who foisted "How to Make a Triangular Corner Table" on the 'net in hopes of collecting a few bucks from eHow.com. Shame on him: it's pretty obvious he had no idea what he was talking about!

For starters, while Zisko referenced a post entitled "building a table" that was a combination of advanced and rather general, most of his instructions seem to have come from a web post that explains "how to build a corner shelf." Apparently Dan didn't know the difference...

His unfamiliarity with basic woodworking tools and skills became apparent almost as soon as he started with steps one and 2; in which Zisko instructed his readers to,

"Decide how far you want the table to come out of the wall. Measure that distance from one of the corners of the plywood and make a mark. Use a straight edge to draw a line from the corner to the make you made. Place one edge of the carpenter's square on the corner line. Draw a line at a right angle from the corner line to the edges of the wood."

The somewhat bizarre construction "to come out of the wall" notwithstanding, we couldn't figure out what the measurement step is supposed to mean: measure along one of the sides? measure along a line bisecting the corner (in which case he needsdcto explain how to construct that line)?

Presuming that you can figure that out, we were taken aback by Dan's instructions for providing legs:

"Place either [commercial] table legs or... pieces of 2-by-4 at the corners of the table. Screw them to the table by driving screws through the top of the table and into the top of the legs."

Ummm, Danny? That's a fascinating combination of ugly and poorly constructed – sadly, the hallmark of plans for tables at eHow. Whatever the case, we were highly amused at the "tip" provided by our Dumbass of the Day, but only after admonishing his followers to attach the table legs to the wall with the darling of the eHow set, "L brackets" – he cribbed that idea from instructions for a corner shelf... which, come to think of it, wouldn't have any legs in the first place.

Anyway, Zisko's "tip" says,

"For a more finished look, you should try either painting or staining the wood to match the decor of the room."

Let us get that straight: Daniel's plans create a wedge of unfinished plywood setting on framing lumber (2-by-4s), with exposed screws through the top surface. And he thinks that will make it look "more finished"? The dumbass didn't even tell people to use "medium-grit sandpaper" on all surfaces. Sheesh.

DDIY - FURNITURE